Hi. My son Michael, a doctor, is marrying Gloria, an attorney. I raised Michael to be responsible with money. He started his 401k at nineten, drives a fully paid off 2024 car, and has zero student debt because I covered all of his schooling.

For their wedding, his dad (we divorced when Michael was 2) gave five thousand dollars. I matched that contribution. Gloria’s parents, who were undocumented until last year, gave ten thousand. They expressed sadness that they couldn’t give more, but Gloria insisted she didn’t want to drain their savings.

Michael and Gloria said their wedding budget is thirty thousand. That would mean both of them are contributing ten thousand out of pocket. Michael recently told me his tuxedo will cost thirteen hundred dollars including shoes, alterations, and monogramming. I told him that was outrageous and that he should rent. He argued back saying he plans to wear it multiple times.

They plan to invite fifty guests. Eleven are Michael’s. I confronted him and said it was ridiculous that Gloria would have the majority of the guest list. Michael said he is not as social and that her friends are also his friends. I personally think that is a load of nonsense. He told me he struggled to come up with eleven names. I thought he would invite all of his cousins and their spouses since he recently reconnected with them.

To be honest, I want to speak with Gloria because I think her expensive tastes are influencing Michael. He told me not to interfere. He said Gloria gave up her culture’s multi day ceremony to have a one day wedding and that her only personal request was to wear an elaborate red outfit which costs 2.8K. I told him my wedding last year cost less than5.5k because we wanted something simple. I would have eloped, but my husband wanted to include loved ones. Their money should go towards something constructve like HER student debt or a house.

Now my husband Andrew says I should stay out of it. He reminded me that we already had our wedding last year and it reflectedmy preferences. But I cannot help feeling like Gloria is leading Michael astray and that he is giving more than she is giving back.