A few weeks ago I (16m) won my school districts culinary competition. My school asked me to write a thank you letter they could publish in the school newsletter and I did. I thanked my school and my friends but my paternal grandparents were the stars of the thank you's. They were the people who helped me most. I said all that. I talked about my grandma being the person who first taught me how to cook and how she inspired me and encouraged me to explore food and all the stuff I loved to do with it. And my grandpa was the cheerleader who enjoyed being my taste tester. I said this in the thank you letter I wrote.

The people I did not thank were my parents (or my brother). They didn't play any part in this. Not only that but they had no idea I was even competing. My grandparents paid for any classes, bought any supplies I needed to try stuff out. My parents have not been clued into my life in forever. They never cared before either except for when the newsletter was published and they got embarrassed because people wondered why they never said anything about me cooking. And the reason they didn't say anything is because they never knew this stuff. But that's on them and not on me.

See, they have a favorite kid and that's my brother Ronan (18). Ever since we were little kids my parents have acted like he's some super special talented kid and focused all their attention on him. They know exactly the kind of stuff he's into and they pay for and encourage all his activities and interests. I don't think there's a single interest he has that they didn't spend a load of money on helping him do. His grades are a huge deal and they talk about how proud they are of him. But they never talk about me like that. They never showed an interest in my interests.

When I was younger it used to make me so sad when people would ask how the kids were and they'd talk about how Ronan was. If someone asked about me specifically they'd say I was fine and then ask if they heard about Ronan doing this thing or that thing. They actually used to annoy people talking about Ronan and they had some people become distant from them because it was so clear they had a favorite and it made others awkward. They also lost a friend of theirs from high school because my parents decided to boast about Ronan winning stuff for football when their friend had just lost their own kid, so my parents are super tone deaf as well.

Whenever I asked to do something they'd say they couldn't afford it or they didn't have time for it in their schedule. My grandparents offered to help with that sometimes and for a while they'd say it was fine, I'd be fine without it. But then they started letting me spend more time with my grandparents and they didn't stop them from helping me explore what I liked. Some nights I don't even sleep at my parents house and I just stay at my grandparents. Only rarely have my parents noticed when that happens. It was only because I wasn't there to do my chores that they noticed. That wasn't always something they noticed but when they did it was a bigger deal.

Ronan's a jerk to me and they never did anything about that either. He'd say stuff like why would mom and dad notice me when I'm so boring. He'd call me a loser and he'd tell me that mom and dad wished they'd never had me. That I was a mistake when they got drunk one night. He said everyone liked to imagine a world where I had never been born. So he was never going to support me either.

Now that my parents know what I've been up to they're angry at me for humiliating them with the letter like I did. They said I should have thanked them if they were thanking my grandparents. Mom said her parents would never have stood for that and I told her none of us really know her parents. She told me that wasn't the point and she said my grandparents had a lot of explaining to do but I made an ass of our family and I should be ashamed of that.

I think they're also pissed at me for winning a few months before Ronan graduates. They never like anything to be talked about when he has something going on.

AITA?