I (29F) am a shareholder of my father's company (my father is the majority shareholder and my brother holds my same %). Our family protocol establishes that all shareholders must sign a prenup upon marriage, otherwise they will lose their right to own shares in the company. The three of us are also employees at the company (my father is the CEO, I am in charge of operations and my brother is in mktg), and our income is based on a standard salary for our role –the company has never distributed dividends and earnings are reinvested in the company– and all salaries are established by a board of directors... that means that just because we're the "owners" we cannot just assign whatever salary we want to ourselves. For context, the company is located in a developing country in Latin America.

I am currently living in the United States completing two master degrees and I have two options after I finish: (1) return to my country to take over as CEO of the company, or (2) stay in the US, look for a job, and continue my life here.

For context, running my father's company from the US isn't an option. So moving to the US would mean not having a income from that company –only a salary from the job I can get in the US.

I have an American boyfriend (32M) of a little over two years. We've lived together since I moved to the US (1.5 years). Recenlty, we have been having conversations about what a life together would look like, and we had a discussion about how to financials would look.

He earns more than me (he works for his parents' company, which he'll also eventually inherit along with his other 3 siblings) currently and would probably continue to earn more than me during the first years of me moving to he US. I'd be working under an OPT.

My projection is that I'll get an entry-level job as my first job and try to work my way up, while he currently earns a bit over $100k. He insists that we should split all expenses 50/50 if marrying if he has to sign a prenup. I insist that expenses should be proportional to each of our income—that way, we both have a similar percentage left over for our retirement contributions (that I would be starting from scratch if moving to the US).

He says that as long as we have to sign a prenup, it wouldn't be fair for expenses to be proportional to income because he would have to be "contributing more" while I could potentially be "saving my equity in my father's company". I've made it very clear that I would contribute ALL earnings that I could potentially get, and if I ever were to earn more than him, I'd contribute more to expenses.

He disagrees and maintains that as long as there are is a prenup, everything will be 50/50. I've already done the math, and this way I wouldn't even have enough money left to pay for my own health insurance (assuming that we try to keep our current lifestyle) or we'd have to go for a much cheaper lifestyle –which would leave him with much more money remaining for his savings than I'd have for myself.

Currently we live together in an apartment that I pay rent for. We split food expenses, he pays for utilities and dinner dates.

I never thought that this whole prenup thing would cause so much trouble as the way that I see it is that our relationship should be independent on both of our family's companies. But I can help to think this might me more of a trust issue.

My situation back at home is one where I've always been financially independent in my past relationships (never been married), but coming to the US puts me in a place where it'd be very tough to go full 50/50 while I try to build a new career.

This is my first experience with discussing marrying financials and it has turned into a big fight.

Am I the asshole?