I (25F) have a maternal cousin (26F) where we used to be close. However, she was brainwash by her aunt (who raised her) into thinking my mom and I are the lazy ones. Reason is everytime when they visit, my mom and I would just plop on couch rather than cleaning or cooking. Initially, my cousin would set aside her opinions.

However, my aunt told my cousin that my mom and I are in the wrong and she was in the right. My cousin would scapegoat my mom (my mom is a housewife) but tolerate me when I was in high school. When I graduated high school (I managed to reach K-12) and move away to college, things get sour when my cousin (there was no K-12 only K-10 when my cousin graduated high school so she went to college) a online job right after getting her college degree in tech. She gets paid a lot for a Filipina since it is in foreign currency. It is also worse when I decided to go to college in the US rather than in the PH, despite PH colleges being cheaper.

However, she looks down on every single extended family member, including her aunt and our grandmother who raised her. She looked down on her aunt for not having money on her own because she supports her mother. She looks down on her grandmother for financially relying on my mom, her bio mom, her aunt. She looks down on my mom and her bio mom for being housewives and relying on their spouses' money.

After I graduated college in the US, I went back to college to get a second degree. My cousin lost her trust on me, became passive aggressive, and behind my back would accuse me of financially taking advantage of my White dad/wasting his money just like my Filipina mom. She and her aunt would accuse me behind my back for being lazy and only getting a part time job but going back to college.

None of us were asking for cousin for financial support.

As a result, my cousin's words make me feel guilty about my personal decisions: wasting my dad's money for education, room and board, personal allowance, etc.