obviously i know alot of people will think "obviously you're not the asshole." but what years of gaslighting has done to me and made me doubt every feeling i have ever had makes me think differently at times. my mother is a malignant narcissist, my dad, has been suspected of BPD by doctors. my entire family really did fail me. i was put into therapy at 4 years old for CSA and witnessing domestic violence. the trauma only continued from there. sometimes i think i should have some sympathy. sometimes i want to pretend they're normal so i don't have to work through anything. if i moved on i would be free. though as of right now i can't be completely independent yet. i pray for my brother, who is still trapped in my household. i pray for all my abusers newest victims.