My fiancé (39m) and I (36f) are both previously divorced. We both have children, he has a 5 year old son, while I have 2 sons (18 & 16) and I have an 11 y/o daughter. We also now share a 5 month old daughter.

He has been separated/divorced for 5 years and I have been for going on 3.

We generally have a great relationship, however there are a few things that have gotten to the point that it hurts always. I’ll start with the small things.

I’m not allowed to ask about his son’s schedule. For the most part I have my kids 100% of the time, however he splits his time 50/50 with his ex. The schedule is always always changing so I never know what’s going on. I also work from home, so on days where he doesn’t have school and he’s with us, I am watching him. Which wouldn’t be a big deal, but he does not listen to me. I mean straight out stare me in the eyes and do exactly what I said not to do. It’s exhausting while working full time, but I make it work. But the last month I was asking for an idea of the schedule due to spring break coming up, and fiancé yelled at me that I need to just accept that he will always be around and the schedule isn’t my concern. I’m not allowed to ask anymore about when he will be here, I just need to plan my schedule like he will be. Which is really had with a 5 month old and driving my other 2 to school all the time. I need to plan.

He also often dismisses when I’m upset. 2 weeks ago my ex husband called to tell me the dog we shared together (my heart dog, my one in a million.. who my ex requested in the divorce so he wouldn’t be alone) was really sick and ended up we decided to put her down. I was heartbroken. My kids were devastated. I was thankful my ex let us be there when we said goodbye, and when I came home my fiance didn’t offer anything. No hugs, no veg on the couch and cuddle, no hey I’m so sorry. He had his friend come over and they hung out. The next morning he told me that he did that because “you didn’t seem too upset”

To cut to the chase.. my biggest issue? He calls me his ex wife’s name often. He did it a few times before we had our daughter and he promised it was an innocent mistake and he’s horrible with names and words. And I stupidly believed him and gave him the benefit of the doubt. It got so bad during my pregnancy that I was afraid he was going to call me the wrong name in the delivery room. Once my daughter was born he did good for a bit, but then it started again. I kept telling myself this is the last time I’ll allow it. He did it yet again, and I told him I couldn’t keep doing this. It hurts. He’s done it in-front of my kids, out in public, I’ve had enough. Cut to 3 nights ago.. he’s holding OUR daughter sitting on the couch with me.. and again calls me the wrong name. And I cry. Of course I cry. Why is it so hard to call me the correct name? How can you hold my child, stare me in the face, and still not call me by my name.

When he does it, he realizes, curses a quick apology and usually walks away. There’s no heartfelt hug, no true apology, it comes off as an annoyance. There’s no conversation after. Usually a day or 2 later I’ll get a “sorry I’ll do better” but that’s it. Sometimes he ignores it completely like it never happened.

This time I have had it. I’ve slept on the couch since it happened. I sent my other kids to their dads while I work out feelings. But I feel so done. I don’t want to be in this house, I don’t want to be with someone who not only continues to call me the wrong name, but dismisses me being hurt. I just want to pack up and run away.

AITA for letting this be the final straw?