I feel like I’m going insane and this is a true recount of what happened:

A girl pretended to be friendly with me at an after-work party to ask me about people I may have hooked up with in the past and to ask who I’m dating presently. Only to bring him to her place to smash a few hours after the whole convo with me -that she initiated herself. (I even confided in her about some tendencies in him that I was a little cautious about, but they weren’t totally glaring yet at that point)

Next time I saw her, I asked if she saw him leave with anyone after that party because he didn’t call when he got home like he said he would… She lied to my face in a very rude, loud, curt way. (I found out later that immediately after she lied to my face, she texted him “hey.” And he didn’t respond.. Or tbh he may have deleted his messages, who knows)

He also gaslit me screaming that he didn’t cheat. So I thought I must be crazy, and I convinced myself that I’m the problem in this relationship so I should stick through and apologize to him for the accusation.

The next time we were intimate following this^ date, I developed a horrible case of BV that shortly after showed an STD on my pap test. I was confused but he still said he didn’t cheat so “it must’ve been in me all this time.”

I just found out 8 months later that he did cheat. That night with her.

I’m being told that this girl is a good person though and she “never wanted any part in this drama” by mutual friends.

I’m confused, because I am 100% not lying about her behavior toward me.

I agree that the man is the primary offender and I’ve been done there for other various traumatic reasons tied to remaining with him for months following this incident.

But upon just finding this out, I feel that she served as a total accomplice in my pain and suffering. One notch below him.

I cried to my close friend, who doesn’t work with us, for a week straight. I haven’t been able to eat or sleep. It’s still so unfathomable in my mind. This friend also has a knack for revenge and I did say to her: I wish I could make both of them feel exactly how I feel right now.

Well she took that, and she sent really mean shirts off of amazon. Such as “Please flirt with me I’m desperate” and “I’m a wh*re” etc. which she told me about only after they were delivered because she knew I would stop her.

I didn’t reveal her identity and what she did to protect her.

But now the other mutuals are pinning it all on me, saying my behavior is unacceptable. And that this girl, who I feel really betrayed me in a sick twisted way, is “a great person who deserves to be left alone.”

I even lost a lifelong friend from this (who happened to also work with us in a minor way) ^ We’d been friends for 13 years and I believe they’d been friends for shorter.

But honestly I have a feeling the girl is lying to them about her initial actions toward me from the start. Making me seem even more insane.

Deep down I truly know if I had a body camera on me at all times, all of these events would be shown exactly as I am recounting them.

I would even hand over the footage in a millisecond. No need to even play it back myself. I am that certain.

Am I wrong in this scenario? I feel like I am going absolutely mental. I’m not attacking people but I also don’t feel inclined to deliberately out my friend who made that mistake of “getting them back” per-se.