Hey guys,

Recently my mom was trying to hook me up with a girl [let's call Q, 27] who's mom works with my mom. We started, things were really good, but there were some things I [28] was unsure about. I usually don't let my mom get involved with my dating life but since she was the person who helped kickstart things, I let her in a little more than normal. I vented some of my thoughts and feelings about Q that I was working out. I also shared some more personal/intimate information about Q's past that I probably shouldn't have shared. Eventually, Q finds out most of the things I said; my mom gossiped things I said to Q's mom at work. Q gets really mad at me, feels that I broke her trust, which Q has had massive trust issues. Feeling like my mom broke my trust, I felt I needed to have a talk with my mom about why would do this and let her know what happened. But Q told me I could not talk to my sister or my mom about her anymore or this whole ordeal or Q would never speak to me again. Q thought that me having a talk with my mom would cause drama at our parents' work and would end in her mom getting fired. My mom is technically senior to her mom, but not really her boss. Q's mom and my mom have been decent work friends, so this seems like a very farfetched concern. I did not want to violate her trust again, so I bit my tongue and told Q I would not talk to my mom.

We never really recovered from this situation, Q needed to take a step back to try to rebuild trust. Q became distant to me, slowly talked to me less and less, and I felt like I was being friend zoned which was hurting. After a few weeks later, I decided it was time to call it off.

The night before I decided to end things with Q, I decided to have the discussion with my mom. I really thought it was needed and it was eating me up. My mom said that she really had no idea that things she said were bad. She only brought up the personal information part because she was concerned for Q's safety (related to her ex getting out of jail). My mom also said there is zero chance she would ever or could ever get Q's her mom fired and that they are good work friends. She also said that she really liked Q and was rooting for it to work out.

We said goodbyes and things initially went cordial with some upside, but Q told me that she hopes that I don't continue to talk to my mom about everything. I told her that I ended up having that talk with my mom the night before, I didn't want to lie. Q proceeds to berate me, call me a terrible person, and say a bunch of mean and hurtful shit. I tried to tell her that I really needed to have this talk with my mom, and I didn't break my word until I knew things were essentially over. Q said I was being selfish for wanting to address my relationship with my mom, and that I was jeopardizing her relationship with her mom by doing so. Q told me I broke her trust yet again, which I guess is true, but she also tried to control who I can and cannot speak to - my own family - over a concern that seems insane and unrealistic to me. Am I the asshole?