If youve seen my last post, I (22F) still live with my parents. I do have a part-time job, but have only been working two days a week. I have applied for more jobs in my area, hoping for flexible hours that can let me work whenever I don’t work at the first one. With my dad, I have my own bedroom, and use the ‘guest’ bathroom as my own. I don’t pay rent, or pay for food or utilities or anything like that. I’ve been very slowly planning on moving out, but so far none of my friends are able to, so maybe I should look for ‘roommate needed’ ads. But first, I need another source of income before I start applying for that.

Today, I was able to pass the driver’s written test and get my permit. And while i can take the driving test whenever I want, I would prefer to drive around in my future car so I could get used to it. This is just a personal preference. My mom is even willing to lend her car for the test.

I have a car that has been put on hold for me. My mom’s bf (mid 40’s with his own three sons that are around my age) is a car guy. He goes to car shows, he buys old/broken cars and fixes them, then sells them again. So he has an older Honda or maybe Toyota Camry thats as old as I am most likely (i am not a car person, i cant really tell cars apart or even the year).

He is willing to sell it to me for $4k. My mom has always offered to pay half. Just so you know, she’s been living paycheck to paycheck in these recent months, so I’ll be surprised if she can pay it all off quickly. I dont doubt her, let me be clear, its just a big price tag for her. And since its a big price for her, she asked me if i could ask my father if he could help pay for it with her. Both would pay $2k for the car, while i pay for the insurance and gas and anything else the car would need.

Now don’t get me wrong, me myself could pay the full 4k. I have a little over $9k in my savings. But I wanted to see if the man would help his only daughter, his eldest kid with a car. And yes, I know im older, and that maybe if i got my license like a normal teenager at 16/17, he mightve helped then.

However at the same time, my parents broke up when i was 15, so possibly i could see why then he couldnt afford it then either. he was too busy trying to get his own place (he still rents).

My mom would always ask me if my dad could help with things, financially or otherwise. Rides and such. Nothing ever too crazy. He even paid child support till my brother turned 18 two years ago. But whenever my mom asked him directly, he would complain about how much he’s already spending and doesnt have enough to help further, that my mom would always use up the extra money the both of them earned when they had a joint account when they were married.

I never liked asking my dad for stuff. He usually never came through with requests made. My dad is a truck driver, and used to carry milk/dairy products around the county, working from 4-5 am to 5-6 pm four-five days a week. Now he carries around other food products, for a different company with the same hours and work days. He always complained about his long hours whenever i asked why he got to eat dinner lying in bed, why he never helped mom with cleaning. Most weekends he’d spend money on drinks and food for a small familial party.

Yes, its his money. I dont really care about that. Im not demanding for money from him whatsoever.

I let him know i passed the written test, and that i have a car lined up that is 4k, and that i’ll happily pay half (2k), and wanted to see if he wanted to help pay the second half, and that my mom wanted to help as well. I asked if he wanted to split the last half with her.

He sent back a large text, saying to ask my mother how many times they ever had an extra 2k in their bank when they were together. and that he helps me by not charging me rent.

Which is fair, i didnt disagree. I said that its okay, and that he can just say no.

he said saying no is rude, and that he has to explain to me why he doesnt have the money to help me.

by now i realized he didnt really read the first text right, or most likely i wrote the text out wrong and he just didnt understand it. i reiterated that im asking for 1k, not 2. I’ll pay 2 and him and my mom would pay 1 each. I let him know i could even pay 3k, and he could pay 500 alongside mom. Although his son is also trying for his permit, and if he wanted to save up money to help him instead, i’d understand and step back.

Then his next text is him going over his bills and his payments. He gets paid $4,200 a month (whereas rn im barely being paid $600 a month) and that $500 is all he has in his account rn. Then complained that my brother was spending a bunch of money on video games and he should save up himself.

my brother has already asked if we could share my car, and i said as long as he helps with gas, and doesnt crash its fine. neither of us have a license, and i dont even own the car yet, but… reddit, am i in the wrong here?

EDIT: i posted pics of the msgs on my profile if you wanted to see all the bills he pays.