Hi all, thank you for shedding some light on this situation here... it's messy.

My best friend (29) recently fell pregnant after 3 years of trying. The day she found out I (32) raced over to her house and cried and celebrated with her. We went into her spare room and spoke about decorating the baby's room and baby names. I read from my list of baby names I have literally had for yeaaaars, like 4+ years. I noted one of my favourite names, Sunday or Sunny for short, and told her she needs to start a baby name list now too. Three weeks later I found out I was unexpectantly pregnant myself and we were over joyed at the possibility of going through this together. Although I have to be honest, it did take me a few days to come around to the idea of having a baby, thinking I wanted to work off some student debt first. Unfortunately, there were pregnancy complications and after being on bed rest for 4 weeks, I lost the baby. This is my second miscarriage.

The weekend after I found out there was no fetal heart rate we were talking about baby names again. She has always liked the name Salem, but two years ago another friend named her son Salem. My best friend was really upset at the time and still is frustrated she cannot use that name. She also told me she likes the name Sunday, sunny for short. I told her that the idea from the name came from my list, it was our top name. It went in one ear and out the other and she continued to talk about the name sharing it with others that evening. The next day I sent her a text asking her to consider other names, even other names that had the nickname sunny, and cited how frustrated she was with our friend over the use of the name Salem and even a time two years ago when another friend was having a baby that I shared my love for the name Sunday. She was clearly frustrated but did say she didn't want me to feel like that so would think of more names.

That was two weeks ago and she text me again today asking if she could call her baby Sunnie, not Sunday and I could just not use the nickname sunny. I said that I am literally still bleeding from the miscarriage and needed some more time before having the conversation. She continued the conversation saying that it is extremely hard for both of us and I again asked to table the conversation for another time. She is due in October so there is plenty of time, in my mind. She told me I was projecting onto her and I again asked to hold off on the conversation. She responded that as her best friend I should be supportive of what she wants to call her baby. I unfortunately acted poorly and called her selfish for not even giving me the space I was asking for. She told me she was done with me and needs some space from our friendship and me making the conversation all about me. I did not respond.

So here we are. Am I the arsehole here? Where do we go from here?