So yeah, title pretty much says it, but here’s more context. I (31M) have been with my girlfriend (29F) for a while now – getting close to seven months together. Her 30th birthday is coming up soon, and a few days ago she tells me her ex reached out to wish her happy birthday in advance and said he wanted to give her a present.

Now, this wouldn’t sit right with me regardless, but here's the kicker – she told me that when they were together, this guy never even acknowledged her birthday or made an effort on anniversaries. Nada. Ghosted on the emotional effort when it mattered. And now suddenly he wants to be thoughtful?

From what I gather, he had left the country for a while and just came back. So to me, this kinda reeks of someone trying to test the waters or sneak back into her life. It’s not like he doesn’t know she’s in a relationship – my girlfriend is very open about our relationship on social media.

So I told her straight up: I don’t think she should accept a gift from him, and honestly, I’d prefer if she stopped talking to him altogether. That led to a bit of a tense conversation. She said I was being insecure and controlling, but I don’t feel like I’m being unreasonable. I don’t like the idea of some guy – especially her ex – trying to reinsert himself into the picture with “birthday gifts”

I’m not trying to control her friendships or whatever, but I just don’t see how this is appropriate or respectful to our relationship. Still, I don’t want to be that guy who tells his partner who they can and can’t talk to. So... AITAH?