For 5 years I have been trying to get my wife to stop putting her food directly on countertops and coffee tables. When she has cheese for a snack, she cuts it directly on the kitchen counters, she leaves cheese crumbs and her knife that she used out every time. When she has a bagel for breakfast, she takes it out of the toaster, puts it right on the counter and spreads her cream cheese and leaves her messy knife and bread crumbs. When we have chips and salsa on the couch, the bag of chips is out, the salsa is out, she’ll take chips out of the bag, and set them closer to her on the coffee table leaving salt and chip dust.

This had felt like a minor inconvenience when we were dating, but eventually I found I was growing resentful when I was cleaning up or fixing the knife marks in our counters. I didn’t think it was fair to her or me to silently harbor these feelings, so I confronted her a few years ago. She did not react well, to the confrontation, but I noticed she occasionally started using paper towels (expensive and wasteful) for under her snacks.

Fast forward to this weekend, she’s 35 weeks pregnant, and cutting cheese on our counters, but on top of a paper towel, still leaving behind marks on the counter and crumbs. I calmly, almost coyly ask her - how hard is it for you to just grab a plate or a cutting board? You went right under where both of them are stored to grab a paper towel, how is what I am asking any harder?

She freaked out, started yelling said I was trying to control her, and I have no respect for her. Which is how I felt she was treating me with my basic request. She said she wanted space and threatened to leave the house and go stay alone at our cabin at 35 weeks pregnant.

Am I the asshole?

Edited: Punctuation