This may be a long one sorry. I (26f) have not long found out that my “dad” has the big c, it went from his pancreas, to his lungs and kidney pretty quick, he’s now been told he’s got at most four months left. He has so many kids it’s unreal, I only know six one of them been my full sister. I’ve also tried to have a relationship with him but it would never work out because of him, he would stop replying, come up with stupid excuses every time I asked to see him etc. when I was younger I was such a daddy’s girl with out a dad, I used to hate anyone bad mouthing him, no matter how many times he let me down I would still wait for hours at the window waiting for him to arrive and many other things but as I got older this loving hopeful want for a father turned into anger. I won’t bore you with all the things he’s done because this post would be ridiculously long, but a quick one to show slightly what he’s like, last year he come at stood at my mums next door neighbours house, my mums fence is maybe just over four foot so he could clearly see us and hear my kids playing in the garden, he looked dead at my mum and me. Said nothing! So after finding out through a friend that he had the big c in the first place, then again when he was told it had spread and it had reduced his time massively, I had to send him one last message. It was a whole situation trying get his number off his wife, then a sister got involved trying argue so I got the number else where. To which like I told them if he reads it and doesn’t reply then that’s on him and further proves my point. So I’ve sent the message and shock he hasn’t replied but has read it because he’s told the “siblings” what it says. Which is me basically just telling him how him not been around has had an impact on my life etc and at the end I said something along the lines of maybe after 26 years you could have decency to take some responsibility and maybe apologise.

This will obviously not fix or change the fact that he has not been around for my whole life, but as someone who suffers with bpd and cyclothymia (mild form of bipolar) I struggle with my emotions, I can’t regulate things properly and when I have something to say I just say it. So I did, it has gave me a bit of peace. People keep saying you can’t miss what you never had and yeah I won’t miss him, it’s not effecting me that he’s got the big c. It’s the fact that even when he knows he hasn’t got long left he still can’t give me the recognition that I’m his child as well. He can’t even take responsibility for never being there because he’s was never stopped, he knows where my mum lives which is the same house for 13 years, he blocked me on social media. I don’t even get a sorry.

So please can you tell me is AITAH for been mad at him even though he’s dying.