I’m a recent graduate and I live in a family of six, my parents and three siblings. Since February, I haven’t had school, and I’ve been trying to help out at home as much as I can. My parents have been unemployed since the pandemic, and the financial stress in our household is huge. My mom has started saying she wants to leave the family. She constantly calls us selfish and full of ego. No matter what I do, I feel like it’s never enough for her.

My mom lost her voice a while ago, and before everything got worse, she asked for help. I said yes. At first I helped her around 11am. Then she said 10am. Then it became 8:30am. So I adjusted, I started waking up at 8am just to help her with cooking. I stopped sleeping in, even when I was tired. I didn’t complain. I just wanted to help.

I don’t help on Fridays and Sundays because I want to rest, and I think it’s only fair that my siblings help too. But I still do a lot. I do my own laundry, wash my own dishes, clean my own room and bathroom, cook my own dinner every night, and take out my own trash. Most mornings, especially recently when my mom is out, I cook for the whole family. I just never know what she wants me to make, she defrosts ingredients but doesn’t tell me what to do with them. When I make something else, she gets mad. When I offer to cook her ingredients after, she gets mad again. She told me I’m like a robot who can’t think for myself. That she doesn’t want to eat anything I cook.

And now she wants me to clean the entire house 2–3 times a week by myself. She says I’m not a good daughter, that I don’t help enough, and that I only help in the morning and disappear after that. How much hours should I spend helping her? I do all my personal chores. I’m constantly exhausted. But today, it got worse. She says that there's so many things to do around the house but no seems to see it. If that was the case shouldn't she tell me, what she is unsafisfied with?

Then she called a family meeting and basically aired out everything she hates about me. She said I’m selfish for doing only my own chores. That I shouldn’t just be cleaning my room and bathroom, I should be cleaning the living room and kitchen too. She said I’m lazy, not a team player, that I’m not what a daughter should be. That I cry too easily when people shout or even “calmly” criticize me. That I’m too emotional.

And then she attacked my body.

She said I’m fat and that’s why I’m not confident. She said no one likes me, that people think I love food, that I overeat. The thing is...... I don’t. I barely even eat sometimes. I’m on my period right now, and it’s extremely heavy, like to the point where I’m worried. I’m in pain, I’m exhausted, and I’m trying to do my best. But all I heard today was that I’m lazy, ugly, emotional, and useless.

My grades weren’t great, and I already feel like I failed. So I’ve been trying to find a job to help out with our finances. I’ve applied, but I’ve already been rejected by two places. And that hit me hard, because I felt like maybe I could finally contribute and prove I’m worth something. But now? It just feels like I’m not enough.......at home, at school, anywhere.

I don’t even know what I’m doing wrong anymore. I’m trying so hard. But she only sees what I’m not doing. I just want someone to see what I am doing.

Am I really that selfish? Am I really a bad daughter?

And if I'm doing something wrong please tell me. I want the best for my family and my future.

Also I had talked about this with my friends and they never done this much chores in their lives so I am also wondering is this normal? Or are all my friends are just privileged?

Thank you everyone for your advice in advance.