Hi guys!

Let me start from the beginning: my partner (22M)and I (22F) have been together for a year. At the beginning of our relationship, he was living in a dorm and I already had my own apartment. I told him early on that I wasn’t ready to move in with someone, but it’s like that went in one ear and out the other—he slowly moved all his stuff in, and for the past six months, he’s been living at my place full-time.

To make things clearer: I’m originally from Oxford, but I currently study in London. I spend the first half of the week in London and the other half at home in Oxford. He’s also from Oxford, but lately he never goes back—he says he doesn’t feel like traveling. So he’s completely living in my apartment now.

Lately, I’ve been feeling suffocated. He moves my stuff around, he’s always there, even meets his friends at my place. My utility bills have doubled, he cooks for himself every day, and sometimes does four loads of laundry in one day. I’m only at the flat around three days a week, so naturally, my bills used to be low. But now, with someone practically living there in my place, I have to pay even more than I used to.

He leaves the kitchen in a mess, his things are always scattered everywhere, but he says I should be grateful because at least he does the laundry—apparently most guys don’t even do that, lol. This week, I came back to find dirty dishes piled up to the ceiling, and the sink was clogged with food leftovers. Ofc I cleaned the whole kitchen, he was out all night with friends. He even asked me to please clean up the kitchen becasue he won’t have time for that🫠

I feel like I don’t want to live with him anymore, but I have no idea how to ask him to move out. One time, when my sibling came to visit in London for a few days, I asked him to stay at the dorm for a bit because I didn’t want my sibling to feel awkward around a stranger in my own home. He completely freaked out and couldn’t believe I’d ask him to leave. He doesn’t pay anything—not a single penny—yet he often complains about how old and crappy the flat is, says he hates being there, that the dorm was so much better… but still doesn’t move back, even though I’ve told him to.

I’ve tried to talk to him several times, and it always ends with me being the asshole and him getting all offended. The other day he asked me to split the grocery bills because he doesn’t want to keep buying food for two.( This was just simply funny because I never in my life asked him to buy me anything and he never had to buy me food?? so idk)I agreed, but in the end, I didn’t eat any of the food because we shopped on Tuesday and I went back to Oxford on Wednesday.

My friends say he’s completely taking advantage of me, but he manipulates me so much that I started believing I was the problem and I should be more giving.

So what do you think? AITAH?