I (29F) have struggled with PCOS since I was a teenager. I had a gut feeling it was going to be difficult for me to get pregnant and I was right. It took me and my husband over a year to conceive, with the help of EXTENSIVE medical intervention.

During those 15 months of infertility, I tried to handle it quietly. I didn’t want people to think I was seeking attention, plus- it was a private situation that was between me and my husband.

Well, just like any work setting, you tend to get close with your coworkers since you spend a majority of your waking hours with them. The bank I work at was 99% female and 50% of them are mothers themselves so I felt like I was in a safe space to share my journey with them.

After telling one of my coworkers we were trying for a baby, she said “omg that sounds like fun, I want to try for a baby too!” (Weird flex but okay.) She ended up getting pregnant that month. Man, that hurt. But I was okay. I have always been a girl’s girl and I was happy for her even though my heart was hurting. I didn’t want to take away from her moment, so I just stayed quiet.

A couple days after my coworker announced her pregnancy, I found out that another coworker of ours(we will call her Mandy) was telling everyone that I was not handling the news very well. She was telling everyone at the office that I was crying in my office and throwing tantrums because I was jealous. She spread a lot of nastier rumors that I were so horrible, I just can’t repeat them. I was so upset.

I pulled my pregnant coworker aside and explained to her that I was not upset at all, I was excited for her. I supported her 100% and hope she doesn’t feel like she can’t be happy around me. She understood but the dynamic around the office was never the same.

From then on, Mandy had it out for me. No matter what I said or did, there were always whispers as soon as I walked away. Everyone would suddenly get very quiet when I walked into the room. I ended up retreating into myself at work and barely ever came out of my office. I no longer felt safe around any of my coworkers and was made to suffer through my infertility journey in silence. It was the loneliest time of my life.

Here’s a little background info for you: Mandy has always been the drama queen of the office. Always complaining about being so busy when she rarely ever had work to do and acting like it was an inconvenience when anyone gave her a task to complete.

In her personal life, she was the same way. She was domineering over her partner and spoke to him like he was garbage. She treated her mom the same way. She was always mean, self-centered and had an attitude that was out of this world. She was just your classic bully.

She was with her boyfriend for 5 years before she forced him to propose to her because he wouldn’t do it himself. She bought herself a ring, planned the engagement herself and threw a fit when he wasn’t “excited enough” in the moment. They got married a month later at the courthouse.

I’m just speculating here but I think she felt like she needed to catch up to all her friends that were getting married and having babies so she felt like she needed to take into her own hands.

Anyway, they decided a couple months later to move to NC. Thank god, I was definitely okay with that. When she announced she was leaving at a staff meeting, there were crickets. Nobody cared. It was so awkward. By this time, everyone at our office realized that she was the problem.

Fast forward to present time and they are now trying to have a baby and having a hard time conceiving. It has become her whole personality. She is constantly posting on social media “infertility this” and “infertility that”. She is constantly accusing other people of not being sensitive enough to her situation. It infuriates me because she didn’t have one kind word to say to or about me when I was facing the same situation. As a woman, half of me feels like I need to support her and have sympathy for her. But the other half of me feels like she is getting some sort of karmic justice. Am I the a**hole?