So, me and my friend, I’ll call her Jessi, have been friend since fifth grade, for both of our privacy reasons I won’t state our ages, but Jessi is she/her and I’m they/them TW: mentions of $u!c!de and abuse

this drama has been going on since the school year started, Jessi, has started to progressively grow to what is my opinion of a attention seeker, or a “pick me”, she would constantly say all the disorders she had, counting on her fingers like they were trophies, and said she was diagnosed with them all, (the disorders are : Tourette’s, anxiety, depression, anger issues, etc) and in my opinion, I told my other friend, in exact words “personally, I don’t think that Jessi has Tourette’s, her tics look more forced (I’m not a doctor so I don’t know, but they do look forced to me) and both me and my mom get what we call anxiety twitched, basically our bodies twitching due to high levels of anxiety, and while she might not tic for that reason, in my personal opinion I don’t think she has it”

now this was all said as politely as I could have, and I did tell my freind, which i‘ll call violet (she/her) that Jessi said she was diagnosed with all of this, or just said she was, and violet agreed.

I assume violet told Jessi, because violet told me Jessi said, and I quote “I never said I was diagnose.” which, I don’t have a very good memory, but I remember well she said she was diagnosed, she’s said it to all our friends.

now, I dislike holding grudges, but there’s a few other things Jessi has done that still make me upset (don’t worry, I don’t hold this over her head or say things about it) like, she says that her mother and father are abusive, which I understand and I’m worried for her, but at lunch, I was joking around, talking about how I’m sarcastic and a sarcastic person, since I do obv funny sarcasm in not serious situations. Right after I said this, not even a few minutes after, Jessi said “I hate sarcastic people, they remind me of my mom, she’s sarcastic (the rest might not be exact words, but close as I can get) and she uses it against me.”

now obviously this upset me, and I got mad and cried about it, and wouldn’t speak to her, which is messed up, but my feelings were hurt that she would compare me to her abuser.

now, if you just want to skip the rest, since this is getting long, you can go ahead, the rest is just me admitting mistakes and other things Jessi has done.

in fifth grade, I was friends with not great people, and going through a lot, I was violent towards my friends in a “loving way”, but yes, I went to far. I did kick jessi in her crotch under the pressure of my other friends, but I’ve always told my friends “if I hit to hard, please tell me.” Since I tend to forget I’m a person with muscle, but Jessi never did, so I thought it was ok. Yes I know this was my fault, I should’ve been able to read signals, but I’m not the best with pain signals, especially with how Jessi expresses it, I’ve tried to make it up, I’ve apologized, I’ve gifted her things and I’ve given her time to think, to no avail, she holds it over my head like a burden, which makes me feel bad about myself.

when I was in my friends group chat, jessi would comment and make $u!c!de jokes, which my mom has parental controls on my phone, it alerts her when people send or I send things like that. I told her to please stop with the jokes, since they would get me in trouble, but she kept going, and in her defense she said “in my defense they’re not jokes.”, which yes, it worries me, but that didn’t change the fact that it gets me in trouble, and my other friends had to tell her she was being hypocritical, since I used to make certain jokes, and she told me they made her uncomfortable, so I stopped.

she has also started to dat this boy who is awful, he is friends with the rude kids who get in fights, he bullies everyone in our friend group and constantly is giving Jessi pda, which is uncomfortable

thanks for reading all of this if you did! I really need to know if I’m in the wrong, I don’t want to stop being friends with Jessi but I need to know who’s in the wrong.