I (22M) have known my girlfriend (21F) for about 5/6 months. About 2 months into knowing her we decided to be “exclusive” and a month later I asked her to be my gf. We’ve officially been together since then and everything has been going great…. except I would often see her texting this guy. Like a lot of the times we were together he’d be one of the names I’d happen to see on her phone texting her. Im not jealous and never looked through her phone; I would just happen to see it at least once/twice like most of the times we would hang out. That always just raised my eyebrows because she has brought up a lot of her friends to me, but never this guy who I’d see texting her… So that whole texting situation - I noticed it going on pretty much from when we first started talking till now. Because a few days ago I had finally talked to her and I asked her: “Do you still talk to any of your exes?” to which she responded: “No, I don’t,” but I could see in her eyes/body language something was on her mind/I lowkey caught her unaware with that question. She slightly hesitated for a quick second after giving her answer and then she described how she has this one friend from her old job who she still keeps in contact regularly with and that they’re completely just friends but they did hook up once like a few years ago. It happened while she was employed at that job, and she said she was drunk when it happened blah blah blah, but it was once and they are just friends now and still regularly talk. And I asked her if their relationship was platonic, and she said it was platonic. And she said they only talk (text) a little and briefly once a day - but I’m pretty sure I saw that it was more... like throughout the day, every day. I appreciated her honesty and coming forward with that information when I asked her what was going on. But I still think she wasn’t fully honest/downplayed how much she talks to this friend. And then we talked about it more and we agreed how if she were in my shoes she wouldn’t like it if I was still regularly talking to someone I hooked up with in the past - even if it was completely platonic. We also agreed how it’s disrespectful towards me for her to be doing that while she is currently with me. We had a cordial discussion and agreed that she would stop talking to that friend. This conversation was a few days ago, but I’ve still been thinking about how she did that…. Like I would peep some of their messages out of the corner of my eye and I would see emojis - I think from him mostly - in their text conversations sometimes. Me as a guy, I don’t really use emojis that much with girls unless I’m flirting with them. I know I’m reading too deeply into this, but I think they were probably flirting with each other sometimes or she was at least letting him flirt with her when they were keeping in contact, even though she reassured me they were just friends and platonic. And this texting thing was happening the whole time we’ve been together, up until a few day ago (that night I confronted her about it she said she would cut off contact with him, but TBH I’m not 100% confident she did it yet… I kind of have trust issues idk). Me personally, I do not keep in contact with any girl who I’ve hooked up with in the past unless we’re still flirting with each other. I don’t really think you can be platonic with someone after you’ve hooked up with them. And I made sure to stop talking to any other girls once me and her agreed to get serious. And I think they were texting probably every day throughout the day. What could they possibly be talking about all of that time? I feel like there could definitely had to be some kind of flirting going on between one or both of them. And yes, during our discussion a few days ago she apologized and promised that she would stop talking to him and that she’s all for me. And then I sort of accepted it; and that topic kind of died down. But I’m just pretty hurt that it happened and this happened pretty early in our relationship. We had previously talked about being exclusive to each other, and she was still doing this the whole time we were together. I know it isn’t that much because she was just texting her” platonic” friend who she had hooked up with in the past. But, my biggest nonnegotiable in a relationship is infidelity, and not tolerating that. I’m very confident she has never done anything physical with anybody else while we were together. But it’s just so insidious that she was probably still flirting with her ex or letting it happen the whole time we were together because she never let me know they were friends. And honestly, I feel like she kind of hid the fact that they were REGULARLY keeping in contact with each other until I finally confronted her about it. We’ve been technically dating for less than six months. We really like each other, but this breach of trust really bothers me the more I think about it, so I decided I’m gonna just end things with her. Knowing that she was talking to an ex while with me, and probably with the intent of doing it behind my back even if they’re platonic just bothers me and I know that it will continue to bother me while we’re dating even though we already discussed it and she apologized. So AITAH for leaving her?

TLDR: Found out my girlfriend of 5 months was still regularly keeping in contact with a former coworker who she hooked up with a few years ago. She claims they’re strictly friends now and it happened once. She’s told me about a lot of her friends, but conveniently left out this one till I finally asked her about it. I’m confident they’ve just been texting, but pretty sure they were probably flirting sometimes or she was letting him flirt with her slightly through their text messages. I talked to her about it a few days ago and she apologized and agreed to cut him off but as I’m thinking about it, I want to break up with her because it still bothers me. AITAH?

Also, my bad for being really repetitive throughout this story. Just getting all my emotions out hahah