Hi, I know it sounds like ITAH but hear me out.

We started talking in Oct, two months later in January we started dating, and we broke up 2 weeks ago. We have talked OTP multiple times in moderation and have hung out three or four times.

I broke up with her for a lot of small reasons, mainly but most notably because…

1. She was quite in person around anyone besides us two, but not just quite… like silent, to the point where it would come off as rude.
2. Every time we drank together we fought (always about stupid stuff and 80% of the time initiated by her and not talked about the next morning because it was always minuscule stuff.
3. I am not in a good place with schooling, family, and financially, and can not see myself getting past all of it while also trying to treat her 100%

I broke up with her with the intention of going no contact and then reaching out in a couple of months to see if we have matured as people enough to get back together, because I truthfully really really like her and can’t see myself happy with anyone else.

The reason I have reached out so much and seen her, even tho I wanted to make it really clear I didn’t want to see her after we stopped dating so we can move on and grow, and even tho she told me that she is putting her foot down and not talking to me anymore because it’s not fair for her and it is making it super hard for her to get over me… is because I genuinely cant stop thinking about her. I wake up and the first thing I notice is that she’s not next to me. I fall asleep hugging three pillows. It’s bad. But I never realized it would be this bad. And I want to get back together with her so bad because she’s told me she will get back together if I just say the word, but I know it hasn’t been long enough and I’m scared we will be thrown right back into our unhealthy habits and end up breaking up shortly after.

Am I the ass hole or “Stringing her on” even tho I know I have good intentions… or should I just get back together with her and try to make it work together and work everything out as a couple while also trying to get my own stuff together?