I'm 24(M), and my girlfriend was 23(F). We were together for five months and had a seemingly healthy relationship, communicating openly and respecting boundaries. However, things changed one night when she reactivated Instagram (after previously deactivating it) and posted a picture of a garden. She messaged me before doing that, feeling scared and lonely, but I was asleep. The next day, she confessed feeling down, saying she felt "like a burden" and "not loyal," admitting, "I got replies to my story, and if I put myself in your shoes, you wouldn’t like the conversations." Yet, she refused to show me these conversations.

I got upset and said, "You should show me, or my mind will imagine bad things, and you don’t want that," but she still hesitated, saying she couldn't. Frustrated, I ended the call abruptly, telling her I'd do something and call back later (big mistake). I then ignored her messages from 5 PM to 11:30 PM. She kept texting things like, "Are you okay?" and "Talk to me," eventually ending with, "If you don’t want to talk to me, just tell me instead of saying you'll do something and leaving me here waiting for you. Good night."

I answered her, "Let's talk about everything tomorrow," but she dismissed it, saying, " no need." I apologized the next day around 5 PM via voice note, acknowledging my mistake, and asked her again to discuss what happened. She didn't respond directly; instead, she stayed active online and chatted with our mutual friend, which upset me even more.

Frustrated by her silence, I posted about this situation in this subreddit, and everyone advised me it was likely over, suggesting she probably cheated, felt guilty, and that I should move on. At midnight, I sent her a breakup voice note, expressing that she had damaged me and the trust between us, stating clearly that it couldn’t work long-term, and saying we'd be better off as friends, but still recognizing her as a great person. She replied, "I know I’m a good person. I don’t want to be friends. Goodbye," and later added, "Next time you want to make such a decision that you always insist is the last resort, you should let the other person be involved," before blocking me. (All this happened on WhatsApp.)

She was right, and I felt terrible. But her refusal to talk and avoidance of me were why I made that decision.

Shortly afterward, she started talking more with our mutual friend, even sending him an old, somewhat romantic photo of their legs touching, then deleting it when she noticed he didn't reply.

Furious, I blocked her on Instagram and Snapchat. In response, she unblocked me on WhatsApp and sent sarcastic messages on my other social media accounts: "Are you crazy?" and "You forgot to block me here too," followed by another sarcastic "Here too, haha," and finally, a serious message: "I don’t want to end things like this. Can we talk?" Shortly after, she explained via text, insisting nothing inappropriate had occurred—just being part of those conversations made her feel guilty. She said she didn't initially take the situation seriously, which explained her casual behavior, adding, "I'm sorry if that's what you understood, I had a good time😂" and, "I hope this never happens again to you, haha."

I had a hard time believing her. Considering that she was essentially trolling me and giving a half-hearted apology, I didn't want to reply.

She then proceeded to spam her snapchat. Sending a provocative Snap of her lips—something we'd previously discussed as a boundary—to her contact list, including my own friends, making me even angrier.

Five days after the incident began, we finally spoke on a call after she reached out again. She expressed remorse, insisted she hadn't cheated, and explained she was emotionally overwhelmed that day and genuinely wanted to talk about that feeling. She argued she wouldn't have admitted wrongdoing if she truly did something malicious because that wouldn't make sense. However, she was furious about how I'd handled things—particularly by disappearing—and claimed that explained her subsequent actions. Eventually, she apologized, admitted her mistakes after seeing my perspective, and offered to finally show the conversations. I declined, feeling the trust was irreparably damaged and believing she could easily manipulate the evidence. She also acknowledged that spamming my socials was childish and apologized, stating, "It can be fixed," and, "It's only been five days—it's nothing compared to a month or a year.". Nonetheless, I declined again, and we ended the call.

Later, she messaged once more, asking for reconciliation, admitting it had been difficult for her and that she missed me. I confronted her about the provocative Snap she posted—highlighting again that this was a previously agreed-upon boundary—and expressed my disappointment. She responded by acknowledging our fundamental differences, saying, "Some things I do innocently or without much thinking, you view very badly," . She wished me well, adding, "Now I'm the 'bad one' in the story, so you don’t have to worry."

And she left.

Three weeks later, I'm reflecting deeply and experiencing dumper’s remorse. My friends mostly agree I made the right decision, citing her disrespect, although a few suggest her post-breakup behavior was justified.

TL;DR: My girlfriend behaved suspiciously on social media, refused transparency regarding questionable messages, and handled conflict immaturely. After breaking up, her provocative behavior online further eroded my trust. Despite apologies and explanations, I felt betrayed and ended the relationship. My friends generally support my decision, but I'm still conflicted and want to learn as much as possible from this experience.

I believe what I did wrong was the disappearing ( Its hard for me to handle such a situation without looking at the ceiling for hours) and breaking up too fast without talking.