Hi! I'm sorry in advance for any grammatical errors. English is not my first language.

I (23F) wanted to complain to my aunt about how busy my internship was today, but my aunt (53F) started saying that it was normal, and I agreed. However, she began comparing her workload to mine, making me feel insignificant. It’s like she’s saying that working with calls and money will make it even more stressful; that is what she usually deals with. So basically, she undermined what I went through today by making it about herself. I was dumbfounded, and I couldn’t believe what she was saying. So, I just stayed silent and visibly out of it. She then went out to hang out with her officemates so I got to have some breather from her.

I’m not sure if I am being overly sensitive about this, but I do know that earlier, I felt like a small ant in front of an elephant. It was disheartening.

With a heavy heart, I tried to redirect my attention to sketching, so I wouldn’t think about how bad I felt when she invalidated my feelings. I genuinely lost track of time, and then when she got home, she complained that no one washed the tumbler she used at work. Am I supposed to clean that? She didn’t ask me to, and she didn’t really instruct anyone to wash it, so I didn’t want to touch it because she might get mad if I did things out of order.

She’s extremely sensitive about anything that is out of her “ideals.” If there is visible hair on the floor, she’ll nag me for not cleaning it even if I genuinely did not see it. Sometimes, I forget about throwing my hair out from the shower drainage, and she’ll understandably get mad at me. But when she fails to do the same, I’m not allowed to say anything about it because she will pinpoint my past mistakes to keep me down and under her control if I tell her about her hair fall left on the shower drainage.

I want to ask how I should cope with this kind of environment—an environment where my feelings are always invalidated and where everything should always be in my aunt’s favor, even if it hurts those around her. She nags my brother a lot, too, about his driving and wants it to be “her” way. It’s honestly exhausting.

All that said, AITAH for complaining? Is it not allowed to complain about my day to a family member without getting invalidated? Is this a normal response? I’m lost, and I would deeply appreciate any form of advice.