I was apart of this friend group for 4-5 years, and the whole time, I was dating my ex. I broke up with him because he started getting physically violent around me, starting SAing me, and became very narcissistic... Although, he always was narcissistic, it just took me a long time to see it fully.

I was very heartbroken, distraught and mentally unstable at that time. One of my closest friends, we'll call him "S", started comforting me a lot... Like, right away.

He was there for me immediately, and did pretty much anything I wanted to do. We became intimate and sexual for the next 5mo until I received a lot of pressure and realization; the pressure coming from the rest of my friend group bc they knew I needed time to heal and time to be independent before I ever get into something.

After he and I stopped hanging out, I became a lot more depressed. I was barely there. I was isolating myself, texting random people on Bumble for attention (I had no intention of actually hooking up w anyone)

I think my friend group got really tired of my instability and how I wasn't fitting in anymore due to me now being single (most of them were dating each other) They got extremely pissed at me and called me toxic for deciding to persue S but then calling a quits, saying I "used him" and I was a horrible person.

My communication with S was very clear during our whole FWB situation we had, I was always honest about everything. But after everything, I think it really hurt his ego, and he started crying and telling everyone else how much I hurt him, which I just didn't understand because I always thought we were on the same page, he told me we were.

Anyways, they all completely abandoned me after this, without asking me my side or my feelings. 5 yrs of friendship gone in an instant. Did I deserve that?