Before I start, this is a very sensitive topic for me, I’ve told no one until now and I know this isn’t a typical nor appropriate question for an “AITAH” group. But I don’t really know what else to post it on.

When I was about 6-11 I had a friend, I’m keeping this as anonymous as possible so il use placeholder name. “Ben”, I (16m), used to go to his house for sleepovers a lot and just general play dates. Ben was almost a year older than me, so not much. The memory’s are a little blurry but I remember I we used to engage in a few s3xual activities such as going under the blankets and touching and stuff. I don’t want to get into the nitty gritty of it, Ben used to do very weird things, one time he came into school and told me all the S3xual things he had searched online. He was around 10-11 at this time. And basically, he used to run and tell his dad every time we did something. After wards of course, and for someone reason his dad never used to tell my mom. But instead threatened me, by saying he would tell me mom if “?”, I don’t exactly remember what the condition was. I was very young at this point, nor did I know anything about s3x Or touching, which really confuses me on how either of us came to that point at almost every hangout. Ben ended up being very troublesome, forcing a girl to kiss him, doing all sorts of very very wrong things into his teenage hood. Only some of which I’ve heard about. He also told me once outright that he was a p3do. I don’t know much about him anymore. Anyway, when I was about 8-10, I shared a room with my little brother, who’s 5 years younger than me. I vaguely remember a time when I got him to put his mouth on my… which I’m so ashamed of. It’s plagued me ever since the guilt is unbearable. I thought it was okay. It’s been around 8 years now I’m guessing, and the guilt is still eating away at me every day. I feel like I should tell someone. But imagine?? A 16 year old saying they got a child to.. even though I was only a child my self at the time. It still feels so wrong and I feel like I should have known. I even turned it into a sort of game something to do a with a goblin and it would do something if he didn’t. I’m so Disappointed, disgusted and ashamed of my self and I wish I would have never done it. I would do anything to go back and change it.