Ive known this person for 12 years despite there being a gap during middle school and when i got kicked out they took me in. I lived with them for 4 years (2020-2024).

Now everything at the start was fine. She had 4 cats and her boyfriend also lived with us who ive grown very fond of, to the point ide considered him as my older brother (with her also viewed as an older sister). She told me he was laced before i moved in from smoking weed, which triggered a schizophrenic episode. I wasnt there for the first but was there for the second episode which was caused by him smoking.

I wasnt home alone at the time with him, didnt know he was home and i had one of them accordion doors (plastic doors that close with magnets in the middle) and he kicked a chair in while i was asleep. Scared the crap out of me but dismissed it when he apologized. Turns out he was having an episode which my suspicions went up when he started punching and banging on the walls. My friend arrived and explained to me what he was going through.

We did take him to the hospital and he wasnt allowed to smoke weed anymore, meaning i had to make sure he wouldnt touch my things. He was admitted after punching a nurse.

After that happened, i noticed my friend was allowing alot of outside cats around and inside the house. Now growing up for me, ive never dealt with cats up until i started living with her, but i knew that this was dangerous and not sanitary. Ive told her to slow down and not feed too many of them but she brushed it off, calling them “her babies” and immediately getting attached to them. The door to the house was broken and wouldnt lock let alone close properly, so it was easy for them to go in and out of the house. Ive also mentioned telling her to get the door fixed(at that moment i was working a bit more than her and i dont have a car let alone a license since she was home more often than i was). I even offered to send the money to get it fixed but she never wanted that to happen.

We caught her boyfriend smoking weed again and we had a long talk with him. He didnt care honestly and when her mom came down to visit, we had a small party. I noticed while he was in the kitchen, he wasnt moving, just staring off and looked panic. Thats when i noticed he was starting another episode. Not just me but my friends family were calling for her, but she wouldnt budge, leaving me to deal with him for an hour while she played on the game. I was getting annoyed because 1) this isnt my boyfriend and 2) i didnt feel comfortable taking care of him since it kindof spooked me on how he is while under it. She finally came to grab him and took him to the room, but i pulled her aside and gave her a warning. When they released him from his second episode, he was still under it and she would literally degrade him.

I warned her to not degrade him and to speak to him because he isnt him at the moment. She didnt take that advice and continued to call him names and take pictures of him with face altering filters before showing him. I even suggested taking him to the hospital since we both work and cant always watch over him incase he hurts himself or others. She insisted he wouldnt hurt anyone (despite punching a nurse from second time) and went away.

Later that evening we were all eating dessert when he came out and started grabing the kittens that one of the outside cats birthed and putting them outside in the dirt. At that moment my friend left for work, and i felt bad for the baby which was doing nothing. I told him gently to go back to the room and rest, and put the kitten back inside. He kept throwing it out but when i finally attempted to grab it from his hands, he was strangling it. It takes alot to spook me but at that moment, ive never felt so scared in my life. I managed to grab the kitten, and my panic attack kicked in. I alerted my friends mom and everything went haywire. He started calling my friends mom a racist and a whole bunch of other names. Cops were almost called but they never did. I was traumatized from that.

At that moment i didnt feel safe. I didnt trust him, and to make matters worse, my friend didnt want to take him to the hospital to get help. That week of her mom being there was a nightmare for the both of us. Ide wake up in the middle of the night to see him in my room, watching me sleep with his eyes wide open and breathing heavily. My friends mom also went through the same thing since she slept in the living room which was right outside of my room. I told my friend to not include me into this anymore and to not leave me alone with him when hes like this, and completely ignored me. I woke up one morning to loud banging and yelling, i tried calling her but she wasnt home, so i looked up her location on Life360 to see she wasnt in town. He ended up standing outside of my room watching me and i went outside through the back patio door and stayed on the phone with my boyfriend crying in tears.

When she arrived i was upset with her and asked where she went. She went to a mechanic to talk about her tired if i remember but even then i was upset that she ignored my wishes and left me alone with him. She brushed it off as if it was nothing.

Time did go by and more cats started piling up. The house always had flies due to them doing their business in the house without a litter box, ide wake up to random cats in my room which i didnt want, and it was just a crazy disaster with them. To make matters worse whenever he wasnt on an episode he was just being a jerk to her, and ide have to hear her yelling his name over and over again until she gets that attention. She would then vent to me about her problems, ide give her valid advice but she would ignore it and end up babying him. Again we caught him smoking and i told her once again “I want no oart of this, you are on your own”. She did leave me alone and kept him away from me, which was a relief.

My mom found an abandoned kitten by her place, and ive decided why not have this one as mine? I let my friend know that i found a kitten and wanted to keep her and she said it was fine. I mainly kept the kitten in my room and bought an expensive gate that would keep the outside cats out and my cat in which worked very effectively. My job wasnt exactly the best paying job at that moment, so i could only do as much as i can when it came to her getting vaccinated. I wanted to save up to get her fixed too. My boyfriend was in town and he came back to my place from dropping me off only to see that my cat wasnt in my room and was out in the living room playing with the outside cats. He asked if i was okay with her being out there and she lied and said yes. I never gave her permission. He told me when i got in the car and i confronted her. My cat ended up with fleas because of that. She continued to let her out and be with the outside cats but one night while i was at work closing, she calls me amd said that Pinto(my cat) managed to get outside and hasnt been back since. That was the very last thing i wanted to hear especially when my day was just about to end. I asked where she was and she said she was heading over to target, i then said where her boyfriend was, he was asleep so i yelled to get him up and look for her because i told her specifically to STOP letting my cat out of MY ROOM. On my way back i was yelling and crying, scared that she wouldnt come back or get hurt, even knocked up.

I got home, and they managed to get her back in the room with the gate closed. I asked how it happened and she brushed it off, laughed and said “cats will be cats” before walking off, not even apologizing. Both my boyfriend and i were furious and it made me realize that i needed to get the hell out of that house asap.

A few honorable mentions that also occurred while i was living there. She would go through my things when i wasnt home, she took some of clothes and never gave them back, both her and her boyfriend would eat my groceries. I was already getting paid low so i ended up losing alot of weight from the lack of food i had. They even ended up taking my boyfriends food whenever he visits. She would barge into my room screeching some stupid song especially on in the early morning after a night/double shift.

I managed to find a place close to where my boyfriend lives (he lives 4 hours away from me) and moved out. At that moment when i was in the process of moving, they had her grandmother moved in who had dementia. I had responsibilities over her grandmother while her boyfriend slept and she picked up more shifts. I wasnt even notified that she was going to be living with us and turns out she moved in while i was up state with my boyfriend looking for a place to live.

After moving, my friend found out that my oldest roommate was trans (shes heavily transphobic) and was making fun of her. I cut her off after that without saying anything. A few months went by until late september hit when i find out i am pregnant.

I had to move back down but to my moms house and turns out, my “friend” has been looking for me. Any other friends i had she would bump into or message personally asking if they heard from me, they knew my situations with her and would tell her they havent heard from me.

I have another close friend. She called me and we planned to hang out and catch up to see how i was doing so far in my first trimester only for her to bump into the other one. Now my close friend is very timid, and doesnt trust my old friend and her man due to how they treated me. Lets give the old friend a nickname, blueberry. Blueberry ended up asking for my friends snapchat and because of how timid my friend is, gave it to her. After that she quickly left walmart and went to go grab me. While we were on our way to wawa, Blueberry kept calling her to see if i was with her. I was getting annoyed and i told her to give me her phone. I texted her as me and told her to wait and ide text her. We arrived at wawa, ordered a pizza and were about to sit outside when i turned around to see that Blueberry and her man had tracked us down. I was pissed off and my friend was completely petrified. I asked why she was here and her excuse “I saw your friend going to wawa and knew she was with you” so basically she followed her location on snap and completely ignored my text when i said ide talk to her.

So i explained everything as to why i ignored her and even mentioned her boyfriend. He pitched in on my explanation and mention a man standing outside of my window back when i lived with them which was a weird thing to bring up. Im the type of person to believe in second chances so i told her ide give her one more chance but to take things slow with me since i was pregnant. She agreed and things were awkward. I went to visit her at her job. She started talking about my baby and that she was actually jealous that i was having a kid before her and that we shouldve had kids together at the same time. She was also kindof disappointed when we found out that my baby was going to be a girl.

We hung out two more times after that, her boyfriend also knew i was pregnant and continued to vape around me. I told him he shouldnt vape around me anymore but continued with a happy af attitude and Blueberry doesnt say anything. He also mentioned again about the man standing outside of my window. Ive decided to stop hanging out and to only talk, but all she talks about is the baby, which was getting kindof annoying. I am happy about having this baby but it shouldnt be the only topic. She even made me apologize to her boyfriend because i mentioned his episodes were one of the reason why i stopped talking to them. (Its funny because i shouldnt have apologized when he kept doing it to himself despite our warnings).

Im now in my third trimester and have a month left before my baby is born. She has been trying to contact me until recently i finally told her that i just couldnt keep up with our friendship. It didnt feel right to me to continue it because if the past and that fact that i didnt have time to hang out with her. Her boyfriend was also under an episode when we “met up” along with the two other time we hung out. I did tell her to not contact me anymore but i wanted to see if i was an ah for trying to keep a friendship despite me not communicating enough with her when she was texting/calling me. I did explain when i had the chance that i wasnt responding because of how tiring this pregnancy is and the amount of appointments i was having to the point that i would knock out as soon as ide get home but i felt like that wasnt enough? She did ended up blocking me too.

Sorry if this was long, this is my first time doing an AITAH.