So, let's start this off right. I (19F) have been in a relationship with my fiance (20M) for almost 3 years, but we've only been engaged for about 3 months. We're waiting until 2027 to get married. Now, onto the topic at hand.

So admittedly, my partner and I don't talk about too many serious things, but one thing we have talked about is children. Now, he's said he wants two kids... I have yet to state too solid of an opinion besides saying "I wouldn't mind having one" which at the time felt true... However, overtime, the longer I've been thinking about it all, the less I really want to have... Well, any kids. For so many reasons, like it feels selfish to have a kid with the direction it feels like the world is going in, I don't want to put my body through the long process of having children, I don't want to lose my identity and just become "a mom" like what's happened to so, so many women before.

Now, I know a lot of people will disagree with me not really feeling like I want kids, and I kind of can't blame people. It's just kind of the norm. Heck, my parents keep trying to pressure me into having LOTS of kids (like, 4 or more, it's crazy-) and I'm really not comfortable with it, because they say "you'll regret it later if you don't have any" or "well if you only have one they'll be all alone after you pass" and just trying to make me sound in the wrong for not wanting that. And even more so, I'm terrified to mention any of this to my partner. Like, he's amazing, great with kids, super thoughtful, like the whole 9 yards, and yeah, if he wants kids then I'd love to be the one he has them with, but at the same time I'm terrified of building resentment about it because I didn't want them.

In all honesty, I'm only posting this to see other opinions. I feel like I likely won't end up saying anything, and having those two kids, and hoping my parents were right and that it's some magical, special connection you get right after you have them, but just... I'm terrified. Like, absolutely terrified, and I need some other opinions on all of this. Whether it's just like "I totally get that" or actual advice, anything is appreciated-

Edit: as a small side note I forgot to mention, my partner and I do both 100% agree if we do have kids, we're waiting until I'm at least 25- I don't know if this makes any type of difference, but it might be good to know!