so for context i (F19) and my bf (M19) have been together since 10th grade and we are all each other have known. he became my best friend and we spent most days together (i still was hanging out with friends but my bf definitely did come first). now i have started university and he has started a full time job. my friends from high school have stopped contacting me as often and im always texting them first asking to make plans but they are all busy with their new adult lives and jobs and new university clubs and societies. my bf doesn’t want me to go clubbing without him because he’s scared ill get touched or kidnapped which is kinda fair because guys at clubs around here are scary, but he’s always working. when he isn’t around i do nothing. i either to go uni or sit at home and do nothing. i feel like i have no true friends and deep down i wish i was free like my friends. they go out all the time but haven’t invited me because they know my bf doesn’t want me to go to raves or clubs without him. i dont want to kiss other guys or leave my bf but i feel like now all my friends are starting their adult lives and clubbing and raving and they keep telling me how free and fun it is and i am just sitting home most days doing nothing. i haven’t properly hung out with friends in weeks and everytime i finally get to spend time with my boyfriend hes super tired and doesnt want to go out or do much. i feel horrible for feeling trapped because i do love him a lot but i feel like since we have been together so long hes all i know and now i dont know how to form a social life without him. it hurts too because he has friends that always want to hangout and there’s been times hes told me hes too tired from work to hangout but then the moment his friends ask to go drinking or go to the pub he gets super excited. and then im just left alone. it’s bad but i do feel jealous that he can work so many shifts and still also hangout with his friends and it feels like i have nobody. i have to message my friends first all the time and they barely speak with me anymore. life has just been super hard and lonely and i dont know if im an asshole for wanting to go and join my friends in stuff they do that i know my bf wouldn’t like. (also for clarification, i never ditched my friends for my boyfriend i just spent lots of time with him and i was never rude to my friends either so i think it’s more theyre moving on with their new fun adult lives and i feel like im already wasting mine).