When we started dating, my boyfriend had a really high libido. I don’t know if it’s a factor that we were casual at first and he had multiple partners.

When we started being serious, I told him I wanted to be exclusive. He hesitantly agreed. At first, it was really great. I felt very satisfied. But lately, he’s never in the mood to do it anymore. It’s not like I haven’t done anything to try and keep things interesting. I bought some toys and even lingerie. But he keeps rejecting me still. I tried talking to him about it and said that I’ve been feeling neglected and unwanted lately. He said that it’s not that he doesn’t want me, he just doesn’t want the kind of sex that I want. (For context, my favorite thing in sex is when he does down on me, and he’s expressed that he doesn’t like doing it because it cranes his neck and makes him tired) he said that if I wanted sex, I need to be okay with just going on top all the time. He says I’m able to finish anyway when I’m on top and to that I replied that I don’t really because it’s not enough stimulation for me. But he just shrugged and said that it’s a problem that I always need more so he suggested that we just don’t have sex.

I’m not asking to have sex every day. I get tired and busy too. But it’s making me upset that it seems like he doesn’t care about my pleasure and what makes me feel good. He’s okay with sex as long as I do everything and he just lies there.

I hate that I’m feeling this way because it feels shallow but I also can’t help but feel neglected and unwanted because how come when it’s my pleasure, he doesn’t care?

What makes me more upset is the fact that we talked recently after we had a short “break” and he expressed that he would have been back to his old lifestyle (with multiple partners) had his sister not make him realize what he was losing if we do break up. His statement was nonchalant and was said in passing. But I can’t help but feel now that he only doesn’t like sex with me, but he’d be interested in having sex with other people. I shared this sentiment with him but he just said I’m wrong then ignored me.

AITAH?