I made a throwaway because I don't want this on my personal account.

I am 32F, my husband is 33M.

So first off my husband and I have been together for 11 years. When we met he was a sweet virgin guy that bought me flowers and took me on very nice thought out and elaborate dates. He knew I was not a virgin and though he didn't want to hear about anything he was at least happy one of us would know what to do and he liked what I did to him.

We got married in 2017 ( met 2014). I gave birth to our first child in 2015 and we found out that I had a birth defect that made it nearly impossible for me to carry to term ( uterine septum and severely underdeveloped uterus). We didn't know I could have a surgery back then to fix it. Our son was 2 months early and we nearly lost him and me. After that I was unable to carry another pregnancy to viability. I got very depressed because of the miscarriages and I gained a lot of weight.

In 2022 I got pregnant again and managed to carry to 12 weeks but miscarried again. The doctor at the hospital I went to for my miscarriage sent me to a surgeon and he had set me up for surgery and removed the septum. I got pregnant almost immediately after I was cleared and we now have a beautiful little girl. I've been breastfeeding our daughter and have dropped weight so fast it was ridiculous. I went from 180 at the birth to 120 within 4 months. I am now trying to tone.

My husband had always asked me to try to lose the weight before the last pregnancy ( I was 160 before the pregnancy and gained 20 lbs during). He made it very clear that while he loved me and would never be with anyone else the weight bothered him. Our sex life had dropped drastically. Before I gained weight we had sex damn near every day and it dropped to maybe twice a week. My husband wouldn't initiate at all.

Since I lost the weight my husband has been all over me. He loves the way I look my hips are wider ( I was apple body shape and now I am closer to pear). My boobs are bigger, and I have been wearing clothes that look good on me and trying to put in an effort to look good. I feel a lot better now too.

I started going to a gym because even though I lost the weight I still looked kinda droopy. Well I look like a 30+ year old that has had kids. I mean it is what it is I have extra belly skin and tons of stretch marks everywhere that are just now starting to fade good. I didn't have much muscle either.

I've gotten a good bit of attention and apparently one of his friends brought up that he saw me talking to someone at the gym. I do not in any way entertain any attention from males but I have met some women I have made friends with and enjoy meeting with them.

I want to say right now when my husband's friend saw me I was asking how a piece of equipment worked and felt embarrassed to be asking some random guy to show me how to do something. It was not in any way flirtatious and I have not spoken to the guy again i don't even know his name. It was nothing like that.

Anyway now my husband is angry and does not want me going back to the gym. He hasn't fully explained his feelings to me other than he doesn't like it.

I did tell him I only spoke to one guy and it was about a piece of equipment. I have never and will never cheat on my husband he's the best.

I honestly think he just feeling weird about the way I look. I still got attention when I was bigger but not as much as I'm getting now and I think that's what's bothering him. It's not like my husband doesn't look good he has always been fit but he isn't I went to the gym fit he's more like carry heavy equipment up and down stairs all day at work fit. Dude could out eat shaggy ( yess Scooby-Doo reference sorry I have kids and that's who I think of lol) and not gain a single pound it's incredible and I'm jealous.

I tried to reassure him that I'm just trying to get in healthier shape but basically he took is as I think he is insecure and am ignoring his feelings.

Idk what to do and idk if I am the a hole. I really think it's a misunderstanding and he is worried for nothing.

Edit- my husband is normally very calm and before this he didn't care who I talked to or where I went. He takes good care of us and this has really been the only thing that he has gone a little overboard with. That's why I thought it was unusual and some sort of misunderstanding. We have access to everything about each other. He isn't the cheating type so i don't believe it's projection. I just thought he freaked out because he thought someone was talking to me and I might like the guy or something.