Hi reddit, throwaway bc I dont know if my ex best friend has reddit. Also this is gonna be long so buckle up. I'll put a tldr for those who are too lazy to read the whole story :)

So I (18F, at the time 17F) have been with my boyfriend (18M, also 17M at the time) for about a year now. Over a year ago, my ex best friend (best friend at the time) was dating my now boyfriend.

Long story short on their relationship, it was not good and she is an unmedicated (she had medication, she just never took it) mentally ill person who would use this as an excuse for her actions that she did on both me and him.

More details below for the nosy ppl

Midway through their relationship, I ended up developing feelings for him because he treated me kinder than any other person in the past I had dated or been friends with. He openly admitted to her that prior to me liking him that he had feelings for me as well, and he wanted to break up with her. However, despite his efforts to attempt to break up, she'd simply refuse to break up with him. She oftentimes would refuse to let him leave her house and even would tell other people that they were dating despite the fact that he had mentally checked out of that relationship a while ago. She wouldn't let her leave without going through his phone (messages and even location included). When he wanted to leave once he made an excuse his family wanted him to leave but she didn't believe him and wanted to go through his phone. She is in fact bat shit crazy.

After a while she did "break up with him", essentially telling me that they broke up but told him and her family they were still together. :/

After she refused to let him leave, she turned around and told ME he switched up on her and that he's crazy. He got to me first and informed me of his side of the story first, his was more believable because it didn't have any holes and I unfortunately knew how insane she was. Her story she told me had a lot more holes and she'd switch up the story to make her seem the victim.

After this debacle, me and him got closer which made us like each other even more. However, we DID IN FACT WAIT UNTIL THEY WERE BROKEN UP TO DATE! I also set this boundary that I'd rather wait to make sure he had moved on. He told me he moved on from that relationship once she stopped taking her medication (willingly).

There was a time period before me and my boyfriend both stopped contact with her where we were still friends but we were dating. Oftentimes when me and him wanted to hang out I had to lie saying I was with my dad because she was controlling over me too. She would spam message me and even call me asking where I am and what I was doing. She could've been smart and checked both of our locations seeing we were together but I guess she did not.

I constantly had to tell her I needed space because I believed my boyfriend through and through and that her actions and the way she treated him were not okay. She still would deny these facts and would tell me that im the crazy one. Before me and him even got together he'd still console me because the time me and her were friends I had never seen her act like this so I was bound to be shook up.

Me and my boyfriend did not get together as "petty revenge" or to get back at her or to be each others rebounds, we just genuinely liked each other and we didn't expect to cause any real harm with it. We did wait to get together but I will admit we were still close and sometimes a little intimate, but not all the time and more just friends with the benefits of cuddling lol.

She ended up checking herself into a mental hospital after I nailed it into her head she was abusing him and I and that she needs serious mental help. This was still prior to us entirely dating. We got together a few weeks after this all happened and after I had moved on from the situation. She was my friend for years so I needed some time of course. I was the one to initiate us getting together, not him, so it was not forced on his end or anything. I also said if he wanted to wait it was okay and he said he's ready as well.

TLDR for those lazy: my ex best friend went insane and my boyfriend told me everything that happened, me and him developed romantic feelings towards each other. We waited before we made things official just to make sure we actually liked each other and it wasn't just a rebound situation. None of this was petty towards her we just liked each other. Me and him are in a normal happy relationship (always have been) and are about to move in together!

So reddit, AITAH?