So I was on a dinner with my friend a while back. Anyway I went because it would be good to get out the house and to catch up as we don’t see each other very often. The meal was nice I had some pasta with sauce but I can’t remember what kind. Anyway we were filling each other in on our lives and my friend goes on to talk about how their job is very stressful and this has been making them stressed and that they’d had an episode of sleep paralysis (like a nightmare where you’re kind of able to move but not really and it’s really hard to wake up - this is a literal garbage example but that scene from divergent where she has to battle the crows in the field except I could never compare my circumstance to her because that is literal child’s play to what I have faced). The story was that they (my friend) had gone downstairs to brew a cup of tea and that they had seen a backwards bent creature that started walking like a contortionist towards them. It started walking faster towards them and that was the end of the dream. I was giggling along because I found it funny and for some reason it was giving pink Floyd in my head with a dish ran away with the spoon face but also a little bit out of solidarity because sleep paralysis is very scary. Then the tone turned and I could feel myself burning with rage. I felt the instant urge to compare my sleep paralysis stories and trauma dump on my friend at the table right there. This wasn’t even a situation of expressed empathy at this point or a “I can relate to you”, this was a threat display of trauma. Just because I could. In that moment I hated her. I’m literally sat there chronic I might have as well been on pass. I could feel everyone’s eyes burning into me at the restaurant or at least wanted them to but I couldn’t care less. I don’t know why but every time I’m trying to speak I feel like I’m trying to justify my delusional disorder. I guess that’s just that.