My boyfriend (28M) and I (30F) have been in a consistent relationship since the ending of 2022. We actually started our relationship in March of 2020, but broke up in the beginning of 2022 for about nine months. Since we got back together our relationship has been great. We’ve had disagreements here and there, but not once have we not been able to navigate through them. Lately, we’ve been talking more and more about marriage and having children of our own (I have two kids from a previous relationship). At first, I’d say we were on the same page. I was so ready to marry him and have children with him. But as time passes, I realize there are things about him that make me question if he’s even ready to get married and have children. First and foremost, we live with his parents. He doesn’t want to get our own place until we’re ready to buy a house. He refuses to rent an apartment/house. I want our own space, however, I can’t afford it on my own. I voiced my concerns with him about wanting our own space, but he’s adamant on getting our own place when we’re able to buy a house. Secondly, he rarely helps out around the house. I clean the house, wash/put away the dishes, clean the bathroom/shower, do all of our laundry, the list goes on. I’m afraid that if we have a child of our own, I’d be overwhelmed with doing all of that on top of taking care of a newborn. And lastly, he refuses to help me financially. He pays his own bills, I pay my own bills. We don’t share any money together whatsoever. He makes more than me, yet if I tell him I’m in a financial rut, he never offers to help me. So I’m left to figure it out on my own. I’m not saying he needs to help me, but when I see him spending money on unnecessary things, of course I’m going to feel a little upset.

Of course there are good things in our relationship, I’m in no way trying to make him out to be the bad guy. He’s really sweet, affectionate, and loyal. I’ve never once doubted his love for me. But to him, a relationship always needs to be 50/50. To me, I feel like sometimes more is needed on either side at times. Like 80/20, 70/30, you get my point. I feel like we should be able to lean on each other if we are ever lacking.

I’m starting to have feelings of wanting to break up w him. I love him, but I’m doubtful of our future together. AITAH for wanting to possibly break up w him over this? If so, how can I navigate these feelings without building resentment towards him?