I 32m am a part of a friend group that has grown into a community family over the years. There's the few of us that started it, and the friends we've gained along the way.

Tl;dr: Two friends broke up. I helped the female friend move. The guy friend is mad and "hurt by my actions". AITA for helping her move?

So. Jane 24F and John 27M have been dating for 5 years. Hanging out with us for 3 years. John is insecure of how Jane acts around other men. Jane is a bird who just broke free from the cage she built. She broke his heart, they tried to make it work, it didn't work.

Jane became a part of the group first. Then eventually we met John, and they both became part of the family.

John and Jane recently broke up, by her choice. She found a new place and was moving. She asked two of our other friends for help first, one of them knowing my schedule said to ask me.

Both John and Jane had been around eachother at group events after the split, and things had been fine. So, I thought nothing of it. I agreed to help her move. I've seen her a couple times since she moved, because she's borrowed some power tools.

Things changed after she moved. John is apparently mad and feeling hurt by my actions. We haven't spoken yet. I know why John wants to talk to me. Because before he sent me a drunk 4am text, he talked to my 3 best friends first. Who then kept trying to get me to show up where John is because he wants to talk.

He's worried I'm going to sleep with his ex and wants me to promise him I'm never going to. I told all of them. If he wants to talk to me, then he can say it to my face instead of going behind my back to my friends. This isn't middle school.

John is one of the boys. John is not one of my boys. I've made regular effort to reach out and make plans to hang. Checked on him during the breakup. He has never shown up for me.

I'm not trying to sleep with Jane. I'm also not going to apologize for helping her move. I see a woman who is tired, struggling, but doing her best. I've never seen her so noticably drained. She's just asking for a little help. When everyone else in the friend group is supporting him.

AITA for helping Jane move without asking her ex if he was okay with it?

WIBTA if when we do talk in person I tell him I'm not going to make him that promise. That she is a better friend to me, and I value her friendship over his?

⬆️ I know this definitely makes it sound like I'm trying to sleep with her. I understand the power dynamics and emotions at play here. Even if she were to give consent, it would be emotionally manipulative to do so.

Did you know: If you have friends of the gender you are attracted to. Chances are they might have friends you'd like to meet. 🤯

Some of y'all need to think bigger picture.