I (m 35) recently went to the wedding of my boyfriend's (m31) brother in Australia. We spent thousands of pounds on flights and my boyfriend gave up work over that period (he's a performer) to go.

In the lead up to the day we had an amazing time, everyone had fun and were getting along great. The day of the wedding was also pretty amazing, the bride and groom looked beautiful and the wedding was fantastic. My boyfriend left the evening feeling like he had really reconnected with his family and brother after living overseas for so long.

During the drinks reception we got chatting to a cousin (35m) of the bride, and really hit it off with him, my boyfriend and I are open, and there was definitely some flirting going on, so the three of us decided to find a discreet spot away from the wedding to go and make out. We were gone 15 minutes maximum and when we came back we continued partying with the rest of the bridal party until the wee hours.

As we went to get our flight home the following day we got a scathing message from the bride and groom about our behaviour and how disgusting it was, (apparently the cousins grandma had seen the three of us walk off together and had asked the cousin what had happened). We were then forced to apologise to every member of the family separately and we are still being shunned by the couple, however the cousin was told 'it's all water under the bridge'

I never would have done this if i thought it would have intentionally cause upset, but I always thought weddings were a place where people famously hookup with one another, and we definitely weren't the only people who did. We were the only gay people who did though. So my question is, were we the assholes for hooking up at a wedding?

For context, it was an adults only wedding so no kids around and not sure if its relevant but the groom also "used" to be bisexual. But has since affirmed that was a phase and he is straight.