A year ago, I was in the emergency department when I found out that my mum had a concerning tumor. She was in the hospital for a while, and I was juggling staying overnight at the hospital, going to school, and keeping the house in order. While I’m usually there for my friends, I reached a point where, for the first time ever, I was so overwhelmed by stress that I just couldn’t be there for anyone.

At the time, my best friend was going through something herself, and she messaged me to say that she couldn’t be there for me and needed to take a step back from everything to focus on herself. I understood and told her that it was okay and that she should prioritize herself. Although it would have been nice to have someone with me at the hospital, I never told her that or made it an expectation for anyone, even though I would have been there for someone else if the roles were reversed. However, she got angry at me, accusing me of acting nonchalant about her telling me she needed a break. She seemed to expect a bigger emotional reaction from me, and when I didn’t give it, she became extremely upset. She said she was disappointed in me for not caring, claiming it showed we weren’t real friends. I was completely shocked, especially considering I had just pulled an all-nighter at the hospital and was dealing with a bleak situation.

She then completely blew up and started a full-blown argument, saying how I had upset her months ago and plucking out random things she claimed I’d done wrong in the past. She insulted me, called me a heartless person, and said I lacked empathy. I was still in shock, and my heart was shattered from everything going on, but I told her that while she was insulting me and essentially bullying me, I wasn’t interested in continuing the conversation. She still insulted me, calling me a narcissist and accusing me of lacking empathy.

Later, I found out that she went to our mutual friend and said, “When my dad was ill and had a tumor scare, I was there for her. So why is this any different?” I couldn’t believe she would compare illnesses, especially when she knew my mother had a tumor. A year later, she came back with an apology, saying that she had a BPD episode and had been projecting her issues onto me. While I appreciated her acknowledging it, I couldn't help but remember how cruel she had been during one of the lowest points in my life. Despite everything, I never insulted her or continued the argument she started.

I saw her message and was reminded of how badly she treated me, so I chose to ignore her apology and block her number because I couldn’t handle the emotional damage she caused. To make matters worse, during the argument, she criticized my reply times, knowing full well what was happening and that I was going through a traumatic experience.