Hello Reddit, this is a throwaway account because I don’t want this reaching my family. I know the title is confusing, but I’ll get to the context in a moment. All names are fake. English isn’t my first language, so please ignore any grammatical errors — thank you so much! I have run this through ChatGPT to fix grammar issues once lol.

I (20F) am Indian, and my uncle Jake recently got married.
Now for context: my mom is an only child. Jake is her cousin from her mother’s side, and we are not super close with our extended family. We usually meet only during family events like weddings and ceremonies and rarely outside of that. However, there’s no drama or bad blood — it’s just that everyone lives in different cities and naturally fell out of touch over the years.

Jake’s father, Roy, is my grandma’s brother, and hence my grand-uncle. Coming to the story, Jake got married to his longtime girlfriend, Amy, recently.

Last year (2024), when Jake’s family started talking about his marriage, his parents created a profile for him on a matrimonial website without his consent. Jake lives in a different city for work, and when he came home around September for a holiday, his parents ambushed him with a proposal from the site and arranged a meeting with a girl they thought was a good match.

Until this point, they hadn't technically done anything wrong besides setting up the profile and meeting behind his back — they didn’t know about Amy (having a partner before marriage is still looked down upon in conservative Indian families, so it’s not conventional to introduce a girlfriend to parents early on).

Jake met the matrimonial site girl — let’s call her Rosa — mostly because he wasn’t really given an option to refuse. Afterwards, he said no to the match. However, his parents really liked Rosa. After this meeting, Jake finally introduced Amy to his parents and expressed his desire to marry her. His parents weren’t very happy about it, but Jake was firm and insistent, so they ultimately had no choice but to agree.

Fast forward to the wedding, which took place in their hometown — my family arrived a few days early. Indian weddings have a lot of rituals over several days, and my grandma and mom wanted to help with the preparations.

As I mentioned, we aren’t super tight with extended family. My grandma used to speak to Roy over the phone every now and then, and during one of these calls, Roy told her that Jake was getting married to a girl he found on a matrimonial site. When we arrived and my mom spoke to Jake, he mentioned he was marrying his girlfriend of seven years. My mom brought up what Roy had told my grandma.

Now, while this was a silly lie, it wasn’t entirely surprising. Nosy relatives often scorn love marriages over arranged ones, so Jake decided not to not bring this up with Roy and let it go.

Jake and my mom aren’t very close (there’s almost a 10-year age gap between them), and naturally, he’s one of her cousins I’m not particularly close to either. However, during the wedding preparations, I helped out a lot — almost like a bridesmaid or groomsman (even though those roles aren’t explicitly part of Hindu weddings). Through this, Jake and I became quite close — not in a "friendly" way, but in a way where he knew he could rely on me if he needed anything handled.

Now, all week leading up to the wedding, whenever my grandma or mom spoke to Roy, he kept bringing up how much he liked Rosa and how sad he was that Jake rejected her. He would constantly say he wished Jake had married Rosa instead of Amy. I only know this because my grandma and mom discussed it in front of me, saying they understood Roy might have liked Rosa, but it was highly inappropriate to keep bringing it up so close to Jake’s wedding.

At one point, my grandma even told Roy directly that the conversation was uncalled for when he was on his usual Amy hate rant. After that, he toned it down in front of us but continued ranting in front of other family members.

Fast forward to the wedding day — you’d think Roy would stop at least on the actual wedding day, but no. He was still going around telling people how Jake had matched with Rosa first, rejected her, and then "matched" with Amy (still clinging to his fake arranged marriage story). Throughout the day, Roy kept talking Amy down, saying Jake could’ve done better. He even apologized to some guests if they felt the marriage wasn’t "up to the mark" (whatever that’s supposed to mean), implying Jake was settling.

Jake was too busy with the wedding to pay attention to these side conversations. However, after the wedding, some relatives made jokes to Jake about how he was "settling for average" with Amy. Jake was furious and confronted Roy about it. He told Roy that if he couldn’t keep his mouth shut, he shouldn’t come to the reception the next day.

The reception started off fine. Roy was there, looking sulky and dejected, until it was time for family photos. Jake, Amy, Jake’s parents, and Amy’s parents took a picture together. While Jake and Amy got busy with photos with other guests, the parents got to talking.

Usually, in our culture, the wedding happens in the bride’s hometown (organized by the bride’s family) and the reception happens in the groom’s hometown (organized by the groom’s family). Amy’s mom complimented how lovely the reception arrangements were, and Roy smugly replied that it was obvious because they were "better off" financially compared to Amy’s family — and that Amy should be grateful to have married into a wealthier family.

This comment quickly reached Jake, and he was furious. Wanting to avoid a scene, he called me over and asked me to request Roy to leave — immediately.

So I did exactly that. I went up to Roy very politely and simply said, "Jake needs you to leave right now."
Roy didn’t say anything — he didn’t resist — he just left.

The day after the reception, all hell broke loose. Roy told everyone still staying over that he was "kicked out" of his son’s wedding. Family members who didn’t know the full story initially took his side.

He also approached my mom and grandma and complained that it was me who had asked him to leave — saying that any "normal person" would have understood Jake didn’t really mean it and wouldn’t have acted on it. He said it was disrespectful that someone so much younger asked him to leave, and that he felt humiliated.

He’s been telling this version of events to several relatives, but fortunately, most people know me well enough to realize that if I asked Roy to leave, it was probably very gently and only because I was asked to. I’m not a confrontational person, and people know that I would not have been aggressive or hostile about it.

However, my grandma and mom told me that they felt I had acted stupidly by asking Roy to leave. They think it wasn’t my place to say anything, especially because I’m not very close to either Jake or Roy, and that it would have been better if I had gone to an elder to handle it instead. They believe my actions, even if well-meaning, could easily be perceived as rude because of the age gap and traditional expectations of respect. They think I unnecessarily inserted myself into family drama and that I should apologize to Roy.

So, AITA for kicking Roy out of his son’s wedding?