This happened almost 2 years ago, and I feel guilty about this, so here we go.

(All the ages will be at that time and not our current ones.)

I'll start from the very beginning, I (16F) met my ex(16M) during some festivals at my cousin's(15M) place, we didn't meet actually, just eye contact and I developed a crush over few days of eye contact (a lot of it) i later found his instagram and sent a request which he accpeted, we had no contact for a few days but then he messaged me saying he had a crush on me and i was over the moon. We talked for a few weeks and got in a relationship soon after. I found out he was my cousin's close friend, so we decided to tell my cousin, and he was supportive of us. In approximately 2 months, we were crazy in love. Then he started shwing controlling behavior, he would throw tantrums if I didn't reply to his messages and instead talk to my friends (i used to talk to him all day while i met my friends only in classes and got like 1 hr to talk to each other), he would fight with me over wearing 'revealing clothes' and i was not 'allowed'to wearanything above my knees and showing cleavage. I would refuse to listen to him but he would manipulate me into listening to him, then he wanted me to stop drinking (i drank like once in 2-3 months) but he was completely against it and again i gave into it and agreed to stop drinking AND hanging out with my friends when they drank. This went on for 8-9 months and by that time i was so immersed in him that I didn't realize he was not a right choice for me becuase i would lie to him about vaping(again, it was my friend's vape which i would hit like once a week or less) just so he won't get mad. I could feel I was suffocating in this relationship, but I loved him so much I couldn't get out. Then we had a huge fight where he thought I lied to him about talking to a guy friend and going out with him(15M), another guy friend(16M), and my best friend(16F). He demanded to have access to my Instagram, and i denied initially, but then he threatened to end our relationship, so I caved. he then read all our chats and there was a small convo 2 years back where the guy was asking me about periods, out fo genuine curiousity and i answered his doubts. My ex started saying stuff like the guy's interested in me and I have to cut contact. Again, after some back and forth, I agreed and broke contact with a friend I'd known since we were like 10.

This continued for 2 more months, and I was done with him, but also hopelessly in love, so I did not dare to break up. At this time, his father got diagnosed with cancer (benign), they had caught it early and were going to be able to get it out with surgery and some chemo. I obviously supported him, but now that he had to look after some stuff in his house, we couldn't talk as much, and for the first time in 8-9 months, I had time to myself to think about my life and everything. It was eye opening because I realized that this was toxic, and no matter how sweet he was to me, I cannot be with someone who wants to control how I live my life. In about a month, I was fully convinced I wanted nothing to do with him and decided to break up (all this while his father was getting chemo and was scheduled for surgery after 15 days of my decision). I felt it would be inhumane to leave him in the middle of this, so I decided to be there for him until his dad gets discharged. Also, he got abusive and was angry all the time during this period, and I just took it without fighting back because I thought he needed someone to let out his anger on during such a tough situation.

The weekend on which his dad was getting discharged, he blocked me everywhere and won't even talk to me. I tried to reach him through my cousin, but he still refused to talk. That was the final straw, and I couldn't take it anymore.

While he was ghosting me, I sent him long paragraphs and told him I was done and didn't want to be in a relationship with him anymore. When he unblocked me and saw all that, he tried to contact me, but I just was not ready to face him, so I refused to meet. I did talk to him after a few days and told him to stop contacting me. He tried for a week or two more and then stopped. i did not talk to him becuase back then, he held power over me and i was not strong enough to NOT get manipulated again into giving him a 2nd chance

I should mention, he was a loving guy and treated me like a queen, never raised his voice or anything, but he would emotionally manipulate me into listening to him.

I just feel guilty that I left him during arguably the toughest time in his life. I faked my interest in him for a month bcoz of his dad's situation, but once he got discharged and he ghosted me, I decided enough is enough.

TLDR: got in a relationship (love at first sight), fell hard for the guy and he started manipulating me into breaking contact with friends and not wearing revealing clothes. i was stuck but then his dad got cancer ans by that time i had decided to breakup, stayed for the sake of humanity and broke up when his dad got discharged (he ghosted me first), then even after chasing after me, refused to even talk to him coz i was done and a part of me feared he would manipulate me again.