My (29f) husband (30m) and I have been together for 10 years and currently share 1 child (3f). When our daughter was born I was working full-time in an office setting but then went on a leave after developing severe PPD. We realized that we didn’t need my full income so I stepped down to part-time so we didn’t have to use daycare and to hopefully relieve some stress to ease my depression.

I worked part-time from the time she was 6 months old until January 2025. During this time I was responsible for the household and our daughter. My husband’s only real responsibility was cooking dinner and the occasional breakfast. I cleaned, I grocery shopped and meal planned, I remembered all the appointments and events, I also did all of the child rearing with the exception of the two days I worked in office (I had one day from home but my daughter was at home with me).

I became more overwhelmed than I was before. I asked for help constantly and my husband would follow through for about two weeks before telling me that he was too tired from working full time (~40 hrs). I told him I wanted to go back to work full time and split the workload.

He said no.

I found a job anyway. One where I’d be able to put my daughter in a reputable daycare for my remote days and still be bringing in more monthly than my part time job.

(It’s important to note that we are also renovating our entire home due to hurricane damage and we didn’t have insurance so extra income is needed.)

I told my husband about the job after accepting the position. He was furious. He told me not to expect any help outside of what he does now (cooking). He has remained steadfast in his decision to not help.

I recently asked again if he could At least help by brushing her teeth in the morning. He said no. I said we are supposed to be a team and I would really appreciate his help. He snapped that this is what I wanted, I did this to myself and he would not be helping beyond his fair share. I said fine I’ll figure it out myself.

I’ve since been contemplating divorce. If the only responsibility I need to pick up is cooking then what help do I need from him?

AITAH for deciding that if he won’t help, I won’t stay