Hey,

First post on Reddit cause I really just need some advice from people that don’t know me. This is a long read but I’d love to hear some thoughts.

I (24F) and my Husband (24M) have decided to take some time away from each other after 7 and a half years of dating, and 7 months of being married. We didn’t come to this decision lightly and had a lengthy conversation about it before I left home (with our 3 month old puppy, in order for him to have space) to stay with my parents for a week. We had some conversations before, a few of which before we got married where I said I didn’t know if that’s what I wanted and was having panic attacks every night trying to figure it out. Every time, he convinced me that it would all be okay. Fast forward to now and all I can think about is running away and never coming back. That’s how unhappy I am and really have been for the last 2 years.

When I showed up to my parents house, we started talking about everything and I told them that I wasn’t happy, and hadn’t been for a long time. My mom explained to me that she had sensed it as I had gained some weight and just wasn’t myself. They said they were upset and angry with me, but maybe if I went to therapy some things would clear up and I could have a clean mindset again.

My husband and I had already been going to couples counselling, and I had been going to individual therapy after it was recommended by our joint therapist. She also recommended he go, but never did. This was almost 6 months ago.

I had a busy week this week, working 4 days away from home and having job interviews with accounting firms. For context, I work 3 jobs, 2 on site and 1 remote, where he works 1 job remote. I asked if he could take the dog on Monday as I had had her for 4 days and couldn’t look after her while at work. He said yes but texted me the following day saying he’s “too busy” and can’t have her. I scrambled to find dog care for the next few days while I was away. Thankfully I have some amazing friends that were able to help. One of those friends said they received a Snapchat from him around 2pm, of him sitting on the couch watching TV. Obviously this made me really angry as he said he was too busy to watch the dog.

My parents are also really angry with me. My dad sent me a text saying “Don’t expect this to be pleasant. Mom is absolutely devastated. I am FUCKING PISSED”

And

“All I know is there’s gonna be some compensation paid back to us.”

They are saying things like “he’s hurting” but I’m also hurting and not being harsh. Him and I have been talking here and there through the day, but nothing major.

Today I had a job interview and we were texting about it. Obviously I had to find doggie care on short notice so I wasn’t super happy with the situation. When I said my interview was in person he said “Ah right because you needed to figure out what you were going to do between this and your appointment” (appointment being therapy). It feels like he’s blaming me even though we made a mutual decision as we BOTH were unhappy.

Currently, I’m couch surfing with a 3 month old puppy. Clearly my family is VERY on his side, which I understand, he is like a kid to them. My friends are very on my side saying that I need to stop talking to my parents, find somewhere to crash with the dog and disappear for a couple weeks. I’m getting very polarizing opinions on everything and I think I just need advice.

1. Am I the asshole?
2. Help…?