Here’s the story. My fiancé and I got engaged in September 2024. We had been in a relationship for just a tad under two years at that point. We’re both in our mid 30’s, live together, and have steady careers.

We had a relatively short engagement (6 months) as we want to get married soon and start having a family. In the early planning stages for the wedding, we laid down some ground rules such as no overspending (though we went about $2k over budget), no family drama allowed (wishful thinking), and no plus ones for anyone that isn’t in a long term relationship. Anyone who is married, or has been in a relationship prior to use sending save the dates and RSVPs, got a plus one, including two of my groomsmen who are already married and have kids of their own. My best man is single, mid 30s and no children, also hasn’t had a serious relationship…just a few situationships.

Our venue could only hold so many people, up to 100 so keeping the guest count tight was a huge priority for us. I made necessary cuts to my invites because I have a much larger extended family compared to my family. I asked my best friend of 20+ years to be my best man and he said yes, of course. Fast Forward to when we were getting ready to send invites

Now he’s been seeing someone for about 6 months, but they are not BF/GF. She asked him about a month before my wedding in March 2025, to be BF/GF, but he said he still needs time. He broached the subject of her coming as his plus ones, and me & my fiancé still said no, citing our rule about being in a committed relationship.

At my bachelor party this last weekend (April 12…two weeks before the wedding), he starts asking can this girl come just for dancing and drinks. I once again told him no. I cited our rule about plus ones once again. He kept hammering this point, saying “You’re not paying anything extra for her, what’s the harm in her coming just to dance?” I told him this was a horrible time to be asking. As guest count was due to the hotel the following Monday. We also shut down RSVPs, created seating charts, crating a poster showing where everyone will sit,and started writing name cards.

I reached a boiling point where I told him, “This is a joint decision made by me and my future wife. We put these rules in place months in advance. I even have siblings who aren’t allowed a plus one because they aren’t in a relationship with anyone.” One of the bachelor party guests thought it would be wise to comment “Is this you saying this, or her (name omitted for privacy) telling you to say this? You need to be a man and stand up for your best man/best friend!”

So…am I the asshole? Or am I right standing by my decision along with my soon to be wife?