This post might sound really stupid, so please feel free to let me know if I’m over reacting. For some context I (17F) have been with my boyfriend (18M) for over a year. Things are generally very good, he is very generous and patient and gets along well with my family. We are best friends and have been for years.

A while ago we were having a conversation with friends about attraction and a friend of ours, who was in a relationship at the time, remarked how they still found another girl attractive. I turned to my boyfriend who seemed to be agreeing and asked him if he still found his ex girlfriend attractive, to which he replied no. I then asked him if he found another girl, who he previously expressed he was attracted to when we were just friends, attractive. He replied “No but like…boobs are boobs you know” and laughed.

This remark has stuck with me ever since for a number of reasons. 1. It is hugely out of character for him to make cocky remarks like that. He is usually very reserved, respectful and sweet. 2. It felt very objectifying? My questions were not accusatory and were lighthearted, but this comment caught me off guard because he knows that I’m very outwardly feminist. To me this expressed that he only values women for their bodies. 3. I’ll admit, it upset me and made me feel a little self conscious. Maybe I’m too sensitive but I feel weird with him looking at women that way. 4. Overall, it sounded very immature. I understand that we are young but it was so unattractive to me and made me uncomfortable.

I expressed my discomfort about the situation and he did eventually apologise, telling me “it was a joke.” I presumed I was overreacting and forgave him, but six months later my mind still goes back to that moment. I don’t know. I’m sorry if this all sounds extremely trivial, I’m very aware that it is. I suppose I just need advice. Should I give him a break? Why am I still dwelling on it?

Thank you in advance for any advice.