Throw away cause my friends and family follow my reddit.

So for some backstory, I (22F) started college while in high school, and at 20 began graduate school. So I have been in school for quite sometime and have had to manage things like working part-time, cooking, cleaning, taking side jobs, and handling all of the finances. All while I am in school full-time. My husband (23M) is in a training program where he can gain hours through work and then has to take time to go to school each year. He is currently in the school portion of his program. Since he started school he has been extremely stressed, which I understand cause school is difficult.

So since he started school he has been making comments, mainly when asked to do something, "can't you do it, cause I am so stressed from school." Or, "you are a woman you were made to multi-task." This really upset me cause: 1. me being a woman has nothing to do with it; and 2. I am stressed from my own school life as well but I am still asked to do things for him. When I tried to bring up my feelings about it I was told, "can't you see I am stressed, now I am going to fail my test cause you are stressing me out." So I shut up for the sake of keeping the peace.

" My husband has refused to take notes and study properly to help himself feel less stressed and get a handle on his course work. As I stated I have been in higher education for most of my adult life, so I tried to teach him how to organize his notes. He continued not to do it, and failed two tests at the beginning of the course. So he was upset and told me how he was unable to pass cause of his ADHD and anxiety. I have both of these disorders among other things. I explained to him that taking notes and taking breaks is how you can help the ADHD mind settle, and how I listen to music to make it so my mind does not decide to wander/ so I can tap my foot to fidget. I told him that everyone is different so he may need to work with it and find something that works for him.

He refused. Some of his friends in class were telling him to take notes, and the teacher was telling him to take notes. To no avail. Well yesterday he failed a test. One that required a lot of math and vocab, he got in the car and was talking about how it was so awful and he studied the best he could. I asked if he took notes and he said "no, cause that's too much work." When we got to the house, he decided to lay on the couch cause of his day, and left me to feed the dogs, make dinner, do laundry, and do a load of dishes. He asked me if there was anything he could do and I said, "you need to study, I got this." So he sat on the couch mad that I didnt "give him a distraction." I told him to communicate that to me and I can make one for him, and asked him to take the trash out. He told me "not now cause I am getting ready to study cause you don't want my help." He did take the trash out after dinner was made.

Flash forward to today. He failed his retake test today. When I asked him what happened he said "I couldn't remember what we did on the previous test." I tried to be sympathetic and said "follow the outline study guide we made and fill in the blanks and that should help." He told me, "I dont know why I keep failing." I keep pushing for him to use notes or to use study guide outlines I make him and he refuses. The teacher pulled him aside and asked him "have you been taking any notes?" He has not. He decided to text me asking if I could "write out the notes for him cause I know how to do it." I lost my shit. I told him he is a big boy and I have given him all the tools, made him study guides, and he has refused. He didn't respond for a bit which I was trying to use that time to calm down, when he texted "you could be at least a little supportive, I support you all the time."

So AITAH for not having sympathy toward my husband when he is in school?