So little backstory, and of course all names are changed for protection. I (38F) am a single mother of 5 teens/pre-teen. Three of the 5 are biologically mine, 18M, almost 16F, and almost 11M. The other 2 are my Goddaughters (18F and 15F). I treat all of them the same. I call them all my children they are all my daughters. My family treats them as they were biologically mine as well. When I first took custody of my goddaughters about 2 years ago it was a rough start. We moved into a house that we thought was perfect for us, just enough space for everyone. It was actually so much space that people would be over and I wouldn't even know it. One day my oldest daughter (18F) at the time was 17, we will call her Rose and her girlfriend(18F) 18 at the time, we will call her Sarah, came to me and told me that Sarah had a very rough home life and needed somewhere to go so being the nice person I am I said okay and allowed her to move in with us. Everything was okay there was a little tension here and there but never anything serious. Every once in awhile of course somebody would get in their feelings or we would have to have a family meeting but everything was pretty decent. Fast forward we ended up moving out of that home because it was falling apart and moved into a little bit smaller home about 45 minutes away and of course all of us went. It was a very tight squeeze especially with the boys. But we made it work. We still had the Christmas tree up, I treated her just like one of my own and bought her Christmas as well filled her stocking up got her what she asked for just like I did with mine. When she didn't have a job I wasn't making her pay anything when she had a job she was supposed to pay the same amount as my son 100a week. She quit her job and didn't even tell me. I didn't ask anything of her. I felt bad one evening Rose and I had a verbal disagreement and she decided she wanted to go for a walk I told her that was fine but she needed to put a coat on because it was cold outside. Her girlfriend Sarah tried to butt in and was disrespectful to me telling me just leave her alone and go back to my room. We had words and then she came and got in my face and the words got louder eventually she spit in my face. That started an actual physical altercation. She threw my Christmas tree to the ground breaking ornaments and vandalized the pictures on my wall breaking mostly everything and then laying on the floor screaming and that's where she ended up going to jail. When the police got there she happily walked to their car agreeing to go with them. I said she needed help. When I reviewed the cameras I overheard my youngest goddaughter saying that I was the aggressor and that I started it. I was so shocked when I reviewed the camera and saw that and heard what was said about me. Even after they realized I was not the aggressor and that she started it I never received a sorry. My daughter Rose continued her relationship with Sarah even after I made Sarah leave. The agreement was she was no longer allowed at our home. We did go to court and the judge said the same thing that she's not allowed at our home. I feel bad because I know my daughter loves her. Today is my daughter's 18th birthday. I'm having her birthday party on Saturday it is a surprise party for her my other kids keep trying to convince me to allow her girlfriend to come over for the party. I don't think anybody really understands the disrespect that I received and how I felt after the fact. Being accused of attacking somebody when all I did was defend myself. I got spit on directly in my face and I'm supposed to forgive this girl because it's my daughter's birthday. I don't want to forgive her. I don't hate her but I don't want to have her in my life nowhere around me nobody else was disrespected the way I was. I just don't know what to do. Sorry for the run-on sentences.