i recently read a post on here on a page about self help and self improvement, someone commented saying they recently started writing 3 pages first thing after waking up of just unfiltered, unedited thoughts or just anything, it’s from a book called the artists way…

i’ve only done it twice now in the mornings and it has already helped my mind feel clearer, i felt like i got a much nicer start to the day after being able to jot down all the bullshit from my mind and get it all out onto paper..

this morning i was at my bfs house and im writing in my book doing my new morning thing, he asks what im doing, i said im doing this new thing its meant to help with mental clarity and things like that blah blah blah i explained it similarly to above.

he goes on to ask if he can read it- i said no this is just a silly thing it’s my own random thoughts and it’s just a private little thing im doing just to see if it helps me, he says well if i read it wont it help me understand you better, isn’t that a good thing, mind you we’ve known eachother for 2-3 years so id say he understands me pretty well…anyways we go back and forth in a lighthearted fashion, he leaves the room and i continue…he comes back and tries to read the page but its all scrambled handwriting and he says ‘i already know what the first part says just let me see it’ i said no you don’t you’re reading it upside down and i can barely read it myself its all scrambled…he starts to get visibly irritated and saying no i dont like this, people that keep secrets do these things, if my kids do this when i have kids then im gonna read it, telling me if im gonna date him then i am not to do this…he’s very annoyed by now and he’s saying this is how cheating and lying starts…im thinking ,no, cheating starts because someone’s a cheater.

its not that im hiding any information from him but it’s more the principle of it, i cant have my own private thing and have it just be an innocent thing.

previously i tried to start writing a proper journal but he insisted on reading it and then got butthurt by something i wrote, (nothing about cheating or anything like that)

but i just really want to start doing some type of self care and writing down my random thoughts appears to be really beneficial to me but its just meant to be a private thing, not intended for anyone to read, i dont want to have to write down my thoughts into my own personal journal while taking his feelings into consideration just cause he wont let me have some privacy..

idk am i wrong here???