Hi I want some neutral perspective on this as most of the people around me are dismissing my feelings. I 28f have a child Brayden (3m) and another from my husband 30m past relationship, Mia(5f).

We often rely on my MIL to babysit as she has the time and often offers to, if she is not available then we look for babysitters. My side of the family lives 2 hours away so they dont babysit very often. Last weekend my husband and I had an engagement party to attend in the evening and would be back later in the night. Our close friends had gotten engaged and wanted to celebrate. This was in the other side of town so we wanted to leave the kids with someone for the day then come back the following day. Our baby sitter Sienna who ususally babysits for us was not available and my MIL went somewhere with her sisters. In last resort my husband asked his sister to watch our kids as she also has kids, Sophie(9f) and Liam(6m) so the cousins can play together. She agreed and everything was set.

We arrived the following day at 3pm due to having been hungover and a few stops during the road every now and then. When we arrived we knocked and our SIL opened the door for us and we said our hi's and whatnot. I asked where the kids are as I can hear them playing and she said they are in the backyard. When I walked out into the backyard the kids were playing at the pool and the fence was open. Sophie has her feet in the water dangling, Brayden was running around being chased by Liam and Mia was reaching in the pool for a floatie.

I rushed to the kids and got them the the patio then I called my SIL into the kitchen while my hubby watched them. I expressed how unsafe and dangerous it is and she told me that she knows how to take care of kids and I should stop being a helicopter parent. She also said she stepped away for some time and Sophie was there with them. I told her that Sophie cannot watch them as she is a child herself and if there are kids near a pool an adult must be around them at all times.

She got offended and said I'm calling her stupid and irresponsible and that I'm trying to say she is a bad mother. She then told me that everyone parents differently. And "You left your kids to go party and now you want to tell me what to do in my house." I told her that I am grateful she babysat for us but it would be the first and last time. She chased us out and has blocked my number. My husband says I should apologise, he says he knows it was a bit unsafe but she has been a mom longer and has experience. He said it in this way "Babe just apologise to her and it will all be ok, I mean if you really think about it she's been a mom longer than you have, I'm sure she had it under control. She has been watching Mia since she was born so trust me she knows what she is doing"

I asked my Mia how long they were alone for and by the looks of it my SIL was in the kitchen while they were out swimming. I feel like maybe I am being over dramatic about this. I also feel bad about leaving the kids to go to the party but then again we just wanted to reconnect with old friends and unwind for a night.

AITAH for telling my sister in law to never babysit for us again.