Hello reddit I am writing this post because I need your help to know whether I am the ah or no. My sister F26 Let's call her Rose is getting engaged to her fiance M26 and I am not paying for her wedding. Now I feel terrible I guess I will tell you our past. Our childhood was ruff to say the least. My father was very abusive towards us especially Rose. He was an alcoholic and was also very misogynistic. He had the beliefs that a woman's job is to take care of the house, cook and satisfy the man in the bedroom. He constantly slapped and pushed her around. Once he even choked her saying that she should cook better as that is a "woman's job" and don't even get me started on their bedroom life. He would force her to do stuff he liked which from what I know was spanking and choking. He would force her to go all night long when I was a kid I couldn't sleep because of my mother's painful screams and my dad's shouting telling her to stop being "difficult". I pretty much lived in my room since I was scared to go out learnt how to cook since it's not like either of then will do. He also wanted me to be his ideal son playing football, straight A's and he wanted me to be a lawyer like his grandfather and he also pushed his misogynistic beliefs on me and I basically was a mini version of him until I read about women's struggles in history class and I was terrified to see what they have gone through. I stopped being misogynistic from that day on. Then when I was 10 Rose was born. Both my parents found out the baby was a girl mom was excited at first but dad was pissed he said he didn't want a girl but since he didn't want his reputation ruined he allowed her to have the baby. During the pregnancy he was verbally abusive saying she is completely useless to him since she can't pleasure him. When she gave birth she didn't even hold the baby and neither did my dad I was the only one to hold her and I loved her. My parents didn't even care and when I heard my dad say "Why did you have her I already have you to pleasure me." I was disgusted to say the least was he even considering grooming his own daughter? It was then when I decided I would protect her. I was very overprotective of her she always stayed with me in my room. I took her everywhere scared in my absence my dad's drunken rage might hurt her. Since I brought her everywhere I lost all my friends since they thought she was annoying but that was fine since I could protect her better. I raised her since I was 18 years old when my parents kicked me out they said they didn't want a burden so they kicked my sister out as well. Luckily I had a scholarship to a law school and even though I didn't want to be a lawyer that is all I had studied due to my dad forcing me. Those years of my life were pure hell. I was studying law which I hated , balanced 2 jobs and 1 online job while raising my sister. Luckily I had help from an uncle whom I'll call Jerry. Uncle Jerry helped pay Rose's tuition (I think that is how you spell it) and by the time I had graduated and became a lawyer I had the money to pay for her tuition myself. Rose and I were very close she had even called me "papa" a few times and I loved her to bits. When she graduated high school I kid you not I was in tears and I don't cry at all. She currently is working as an architect which I really don't understand to be honest. Near her work there was a cafe where she met Carter and they hit off they talked for hours and when she came to visit me she was gushing so hard and talked about how great he was and how she impressed him and talked him into giving his number and that was the only part I listened to because I was in love with my now ex fiance M35 Brandon and I wanted to know how to talk to a guy. About a year in to their dating I met Carter for the first time and I didn't like him he was loud careless disrespectful and at that time I didn't know homophobic. We were having dinner with our partners and he made remarks like "How did you even like men? I mean men and women is the only relationship there should be" but he was drunk so I chopped it up to that. Cutting to their wedding I was not invited since I am a "gay slur" which I won't say. Carter told me that a sinner like me isn't allowed to their wedding and he expected me to stay out of Rose's life. I tried to talk to her about it to get through to her but she told me how Carter opened her eyes to see how I was "abusive" and a "lier" for keeping her away from her parents and that is when I found out that Carter got in contact with my parents and considering he is rich they saw potential dollar sighs and that is why they came back into their daughter's life. They spun a story about how I stole Rose and ran away and how they weren't abusive and told her I had groomed her and inappropriately touched her which I had not. Rose threw things at me, slapped me and told me to get the f out and never contact her again. I was completely heartbroken I mean how could she believe them over me? I raised her helped her go to school and she does this? I naturally stopped the payment plans since I wasn't invited but that might have been the wrong discussion. After 3 days of canceling the payments my phone was bombarded with calls and texts from Rose, Carter and their family. Rose's texts were "You monster first you fing groom me and this?! Carter was right about you! You *gay slur." And the rest were: "You *gay slur you pulled the wedding money m?! Now the darkest pits of hell are awaiting you on top of your already committed sins!" And all while this my fiance left me saying how he doesn't love me anymore so yeah it has been ruff. I have been drinking a lot and with the wedding stuff I don't know what to think. So AITAH?