Husband (32M) asked for couples counseling with me (29F) is what he’s done behind repair?

I’m 29 and my husband is 32. There were some red flags in the beginning of our relationship that I made the mistake of ignoring. He would search his ex and other women and a year or so ago I found out that instead of having sex with me, he’d search up celebrities and help himself to their pictures/gifs. He also claims to have performance anxiety and goes soft during sex. Sometimes we have gone weeks or almost a month without sex, which drives me crazy. Since my grandpa passed away my family and I don’t see each other and I only have my mom for support. She is single and doesn’t have a lot of money and sometimes her and I don’t get along.

I have never been involved with my dad besides visits here and there, but he never helped my mom support me at all while I was growing up. I had a friend of mine offer me to stay but it’s hard with a toddler and she can sometimes be bitchy, so I don’t think it would work out. I also don’t know if she meant indefinitely for me to get on my feet or just for a couple of days. She’s also dating my husband best friend so it would be awkward for me.

I do work a full time remote job but I help with the bills so it’s hard for me to save. I don’t have my license either due to the trauma of a car accident that I was in with a friend in high school. I want to start driving lessons though sometime soon. My husband and I have a dog and a two year old son. He recently started listening to podcasts to become a better communicator and started leaving notes around the house for me.

Over the weekend though we were talking and I asked him to be honest about everything and back in 2019 when we were engaged, he had messaged a girl whom we went to high school with that has special needs. He sent her dirty sexual texts and when I confronted him on it back then he lied. The girl actually sent screenshots too. I am absolutely disgusted and can never look at him the same. A woman without special needs would’ve pissed me off as well but the fact that he’s so low to contact someone with special needs is disgusting.

He said he did it for the “thrill” and that nothing was going to ever happen. He has wasted so much of my time and I really don’t know what to do. I wanted to see if anyone else has gone through stuff like this? I feel like there is no hope. My anxiety has gotten bad again to where I’m having physical symptoms and panic attacks. I did find a new therapist who I will be talking to soon. Thank you for reading.