This is probably might not seem like a big issue to Most people, it might seem childish and honestly it might not be a big deal at all but I'm hoping someone here can at least relate to my situation.

My 21st is coming up and from where I'm from it's normally a pretty big thing (not so much anymore though). Last year my mom brought up the idea of doing something for my 21st. Now I should preface that I'm an introvert. I'm generally not a big fan of people in general and although I don't have any social anxiety, crowds do annoy me so when my mom brought up ideas for a 21st I told her that If I were to do something, I'd prefer to to just have a small get together with friends, Maybe go out for supper or just chill at one of hour places.

Normally my mom would be fine with whatever I wanted to do but this time she insisted on me having some kind of party with a hired area and family and friends all attending. I tried to shove off her ideas but eventually with some convincing from a close family that always understood my antisocial personality, I gave in and indulged in the idea On the condition that no matter what, It would just be My friends and I. This caused us to go back and forth again but eventually we settled on a small handful of family, all my friends, a small handful of family friends. It wasn't what I originally wanted but it was still fine, Maximum 25 people.

Fast Forward to April and the amount of new people getting invited is starting to get more that I'm comfortable with. To make a long story short, My mom ended up inviting some extra family and other people who have helped us. This was what I was trying to avoid. I have a big family but I've never been a family person, 93% of them I only speak to on Christmas and their birthdays. I wanted this to be a small get together of the people I actually have in my circle, the people I actually care about and enjoy talking to. Now that 25 is growing to 50.

I've tried speaking to my mom and To her credit she has tried a but everytime I bring it up to her she gets upset and calls me out for overreacting. I feel like I'm in a difficult position of asking as my mom is paying this all out of her own pocket. It's not what I originally wanted but shes pulling all the stops. At the same time I feel like as the actual person, she's doing this all for, I should have say so. She insists on inviting family out of pure curtesy with the excuse of "they won't show/won't stay long" and has also promise that the family will be in different section than my friends and I but I still don't feel comfortable inviting people I barely talk to in a lifetime.

Am I being the Asshole for insisting on less people? Am I possibly just being childish for demanding?