I have been with my spouse for 16 years. We have been married for 6 years. I always paid for our vacations every year because he waited tables and never really received great tips. I made more money so I didn’t care about paying for the vacations. Then my spouse then fiancé got an amazing job making more than me. Before he received his first paycheck he bought a new car. After a few months his boss said “do you like work here” he said “no” well he was fired. Now I’m left paying all the bills along with his new car note. He wanted the perfect job so 4 or 5 months went by and my savings were almost gone. I get upset and tried taking to him and he faked an unalive attempt so now he was locked up in a psychiatric ward. I then had those bills to pay. After this he talked me into a quick wedding but only after I had him sign a prenup. He gets a good job, but yet never had the money to help with bills. Then his car is repossessed and I found out he had payday loans like crazy. So I take money out of my savings that I was going use to buy back some years of retirement so I could retire early. I also found out this whole time we were together he was getting hotel rooms and having orgies. I told him if he started therapy for sex addiction I wouldn’t leave. Since we have been married we have never had sex but he has just not with me. Well some friends of mine asked me to go on a weekend trip and he forbid me going. I have been eating bologna sandwiches and watching every penny and doing with out while he orders DoorDash for every meal. Now he came to me and told me he purchased a ticket to go see garbage in Chicago. No mention of me going. Now he is going to buy first class tickets so he can have more room and he said he was getting a room with two beds because it is more affordable. He says he is not but I’m sure someone is going with him. He has refused to have sex with me since we married. So am I wrong for saying no to him going on the trip because he said no alone trip but now it’s ok. Luckily I just inherited my grandparents large house. I started purchasing things to do repairs and renovation a little at a time. I could take the constant yelling at me about how unfair I am about the trip. I said I had to clear my head and I was going to stay at the larger house. I want a divorce but I took out loans in my name for his bills and I’m not sure I can afford to live alone. My Priest told me he told me so but than he would help me get an annulment. I really need the money he owes me but I can’t take the cheating, and the mental and physical abuse anymore. So to make a long story longer, AITAH for not wanting him to go on this trip?