Hey everyone! I (24f) have been friends with “Amy” (25f) since middle school. We had a friend group of about 5 but we all kind of fell off and now it’s just 3 of us. There is so much that I have been through with this group like homophobia (my partner (23f) and I are gay), gaslighting, and emotional abuse. I took time away from them for a while but somehow found our way back and I assumed things got better. Anyway, over the years it seems like we’re drifting again as they’re going back to their old ways. Last year, she got married on my birthday which was also my golden birthday. I ended up celebrating with my partner and not really getting any attention from the group. No one really acknowledged my birthday. I wasn’t too upset because I was happy to celebrate my friend and didn’t want to take her moment away obviously. But there was so many other days to choose!! This happens quite often with them, there was only once where they actually planned something for me which was very sweet. I don’t expect them to plan things but we usually plan things like even a small dinner or staycation for everyone else. This also applies for graduations! I recently graduated and got my associates. I already feel down because I don’t feel like i’ve achieved much but I went through so much for this degree. Especially being first-gen. I have been to each of their graduations even their associates. Now, they’re trying to plan a surprise dinner for Amy. They did say congrats to me and “we should definitely do something!” but nothing else. I kind of feel like I keep getting swept under the rug? I don’t want to sound conceited but it would be nice to be acknowledged or celebrated without having to plan it myself. This dinner is also with her friends who are homophobic and i’m not super close with them. Would I be the asshole if I don’t attend the dinner?