Throwaway because I don't want this connected to my main.

I (29F) moved to a different state to continue my education and to move in with my now partner. I've lived here for about 5 years. We both recently got jobs back where I used to live and are moving in just a little under two months.

I am thrilled to be moving back. I was absolutely miserable living here. I made a handful of friends in my time here and honestly they are all very lovely people, however - I have never met a flakier group of people in my life. I can't tell you how many plans I got stood up for, canceled on last minute, what have you. It caused a lot of resentment at first but I got as used to it as one can and it stopped really bothering me, but I did stop being the one who made plans or hosted anything because I was tired of being out the effort for people to dip.

As we've been getting ready to move, I had people reach out and ask if I was going to have a going away party or gathering of some sort. I said no, that I was busy, our house was a mess, I was just stressed. But the truth was, I was pretty sure no one would show up. I had had this happen before where I'd host people's birthdays and people would flake. It's not just me. If group outings were planned, half the people would be late, or not show up at all. It was very rare that everyone got together.

I had been telling people that if they wanted to hang out, we could do so individually or have dinner with a couple people, but I wasn't going to throw a whole thing.

Then one day my one reliable friend swung by as I was packing. We were chatting and hanging out and she told me that people in the group were really disappointed that I wasn't offering one last chance for the group to get together. I was a little short on energy that day and instead of lying again, I just said "Honestly who would even show up? We have had so many times we tried to get people together and people flake, cancel or just can't be bothered. I don't have the time or energy to play hostess right now, and I especially don't when half the group is so unreliable." My friend was quiet for the rest of her time and then left. She reached out later though and told me I was being a jerk, and it wasn't fair that I was trying to deny the group a chance to get together to see me one last time. I left her on read, but honestly, AITAH?